• Relationships

Girl Talk: There Is No Such Thing As “The One”

Awhile ago, I went to one of those psychic-type people. I don’t think she called herself that, but you get the point. Anyway, she said something that has stuck in my head ever since. I think I made a passing reference to finding “The One,” and she made a face.

“There’s no such thing as ‘The One,’” she explained. “There is only the one who is ‘The One’ right now.”

And, you know what? I think she was right.To be clear, if you think you’ve found “The One,” more power to you. I am not trying to rain on your parade. Although, it would bear pointing out that one never knows what the future holds, and “The One” today may be replaced by “The Other One” tomorrow. But I guess I felt like I’ve spent my whole life searching for “The One,” and, honestly, a few times, I thought I had found him. So, when he turned out not to be “The One,” I felt, well, stupid. Like I was wrong.

That’s why I was intrigued by what the not-psychic said. What she was suggesting was that I had been right all along. That every guy I thought was “The One” was “The One,” for that moment in time, for that part of my life, for what I needed right then. As it turned out, though, he wasn’t the one for the next day, or five years down the line, or for forever. He was “The One for Right Then.”

It was a brief comment she made in the course of a long conversation, but in a way it really changed the way I think about all my relationships over the years. They’re like hard, dark vertical lines on a long, multicolored horizontal line that’s the story of my life, and they were all “The One,” and that was perfect, that they were each there when they needed me, and when I needed them.

To a degree, it takes the pressure off, looking forward. I don’t have to worry about finding “THE ONE.” I can search for “The Next One.”

Photo: iStockphoto

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