If Tanning Addiction Is Real, Then The Cast Of “Jersey Shore” Is In Trouble

According to a new study published by the Archives of Dermatology, about one-third of the 421 college students who tried indoor tanning became addicted to it. The study found that tan-oholics also use way more alcohol and pot than those who did not fiend for the tanning bed. More than half of the tanning maniacs reported that they used more than one drug in the previous month.

This explains a lot about the cast of “Jersey Shore.” I wonder if they’ll receive death threats from the National Cancer Society? I can so picture an episode where they all go to a Tanners Anonymous meeting. “My name is The Situation, and I’m addicted to GTL.” Perhaps they can use their platform to increase awareness about the harmful effects of compulsive tanning—skin cancer, premature aging, and sun damage. It’s dangerous, kids! But then again, the show wouldn’t be the same with a bunch of pale guidos and guidettes running around Jersey now, would it? [Bloomberg]