Your Complete Guide To “Jersey Shore” Knockoff Shows

Why didn’t anyone think of this brilliant idea sooner?! Infiltrate a group of youngsters with similar lineages, ply them with alcohol, and sit back while they exploit the worst stereotypes of their ethnicity/social class/cultural group. Can you blame producers for looking at the success of “Jersey Shore” and seeing dollar signs? (Well, yes, you can. But that’s another post entirely.)

It seems like there are new “Jersey Shore” knockoff shows appearing every week—so many that we can’t keep ‘em all straight. After the jump, we fill you in on next year’s crop of D-list celebs.

  • “Jersey Shore” … For Persians: Frankly, Persians (Iranian-Americans) in Beverly Hills probs have more in common with “The Hills” than “Jersey Shore,” but whatevesies. MTV is casting for “proud Persian-Americans who rule Hollywood nightlife and own Beverly Hills” — but of course they’ve gotta be “outrageous” and “outspoken.” Let’s just hope they don’t call it “Pers-y Shore.” [Guest Of A Guest]
  • “Jersey Shore” … For Bostonians: Folks in Boston don’t really have a cultural identity (Ma**holes, I guess?), but apparently that barrier can be surmounted. Wicked Summer Casting is looking for “blue collar” folks who love the Red Sox, hair products, and “little necks on the frickin half shell” to spend the summer partying on the Cape. Oh, did you hear that? It’s Ted Kennedy rolling over in his grave. [The Boston Channel]
  • “Jersey Shore” … For Asians: Craigslist is calling for Asian-Americans in L.A. “with lively, strong and unique personalities” to share their love of “the Koreatown life.” (Um, what’s the Koreatown life, exactly? Bibimbap?) But the casting directors — for an as-of-yet unnamed network — will settle for an Asiaphile if not an actual Asian: “If you are not Asian but are obsessed with Asian culture or people in some way, email us and please explain.” Obsessed with Asian people? Sorry, but that’s creepy. [New York Post]
  • “Jersey Shore” … For Russians: Last, but not least, “Brighton Beach.” Their casting website, BrightonBeachShow.com, says they want “the Russian Snooki or The Situation” who “sometimes sneaks kalbaska, pel’meni and vodka from the fridge” to move into New York City’s Russian-American enclave for two months. (Casting also says: “Obviously love to meet your grandma!”) No doubt lots of vodka — and reinforcement of offensive cultural stereotypes! — will be involved in this one. [New York Post]

I think we’ll pass on, um … all of these.

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