What Is “Penazzling”? It’s Vajazzling For Him, Duh!

Let’s get this straight: “vajazzling” — blinging out one’s ladyparts with pretty crystals (I guess so a guy doesn’t have to look at your icky pubic hair during sex?) — gets Jennifer Love Hewitt as an enthusiastic ambassador. But the first macho man to undergo a “penazzling” procedure gets his face blurred on the internet, sex victim-style, and he doesn’t even have crystals glued onto his penis?!?! Yes, it’s true: The first publicity stunt-seeking ding-dong to undergo a “penazzling” got a pair of lips “dazzled” onto his lower torso, not his junk. NOT FAIR.

At least “penazzling” will give us girls something to look at while performing oral sex. [The Berry]