Ask The Astrosexologist: “My Long-Distance Man Won’t Use Labels”
I have been seeing this Sagittarius for a few months now. Things are going great and we are both really into each other. The only problem is we live on opposite sides of the country. He just happened to be in my area for work for around three months. Now that he has returned to his coast, he helped pay for a trip to go out and visit him and I have now met all of his friends, neighbors and co-workers (he took me to work to show me around).
Now, I am a Sagittarius as well, and the idea of commitment weirds me out too, but when the whole “what are we?” conversation came up, I was surprised when he told me he didn’t want a label. “Why ruin a good thing by putting a label on it. Why don’t we just see what happens and where things go?”
Normally this is a line guys use to tell you they want to date other people or don’t want anything serious and you aren’t much more than a fling. However, he isn’t actually seeing anyone else. He treats me like a queen, dotes on me and calls me, as well as texts me all the time, and has confessed to being very attached to me. What is his deal? — Confused
At only several months into dating, it’s hard to gauge anything right now — especially since you are also long distance. This could just be a fling for him, or this could be something he is slowly feeling out. Maybe this guy just needs to not have labels? There is no way of telling, but it is up to you to monitor it.
Yes, Sagittarius is the sign of freedom and they are prone to resisting traditional commitment. However, this doesn’t keep them from wanting to be exclusive and sealing the deal to make sure you don’t get away and slip into someone else’s arms. Sure, he might not be dating anyone else or even looking, but the fact that he’s leaving it so open-ended is a subtle red flag — or you wouldn’t have written, right? So, the fact that this disturbs you is something you should pay attention to.
Keep in mind Sagittarius is also the sign of the gambler and you can roll the dice. Yet, since it sounds like you have an agenda and want this guy to be more serious about you, this isn’t something you can shrug off. While you have started this discussion about labels, it doesn’t have to end with this vagueness. If you find you are giving more time and emotion than you want for something so indefinable, then you have to call it as it is and talk to him. Discuss what you need to make this work and see what he is willing to do to accommodate you. After all, having a healthy relationship means two people talking and deciding on boundaries and goals together. If he can’t do that soon, then realize he may never.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!