Fashion Rant: The Implausible Styles On This Season’s “Gossip Girl”

There’s no debating it—”Gossip Girl” has lost its luster this season. By now, everyone’s had sex with just about everyone else and there isn’t one plot twist that would surprise us or not irritate us. (Seriously, how come Nate can never keep it in his pants, is probably a walking STD, but is still the “good-guy hunk”?) Plot aside, we’ve also been hung up on some weird aesthetic details. Whereas past seasons provided inspiration for our shopping lists, we’re not quite feeling the authenticity that the show used to bring. (True, it’s not like re-styled school uniforms look like that anywhere, but still.)

First point of contention—which isn’t so much about style as it is logistics—sex with clothes on. When season three started up again with Serena and Nate’s “steamy” relationship, we saw them engaging in some public nooky. They were presumably having intercourse, and yet, both of their pants were still on. How, exactly, is this supposed to work? Did he just whip it out? Was Serena magically wearing no panties? (You know girl has some fancy lingerie getup under there.)

Next, Jenny’s smokey eye, which has been her signature makeup style for a while now. OK, we get it, she’s a rebellious teenager with a dark soul, but wouldn’t someone so fashion-obsessed know how to apply cosmetics? This isn’t a smokey eye; it’s a black eye.

On to last night’s episode. Notice Nate’s super chunky fisherman’s sweater? Nate in a cardigan? Really?

Last night also featured some blatant advertising from an unexpected designer—Matthew Williamson. For starters, it was painful how long the camera lingered on this logo box. Second, this is the dress that is supposed to be no-fail seduction attire? Sure, it’s sexy and cute, but a floor-length thing with a weird button collar is supposedly going to make a guy aroused? Not buying it. Lastly, a cry out to Chuck, who used to be the best-dressed of the gang. Where are your fabulous OTT outfits? You’ve gotten way too serious.