Readers Speak: More Online Dating Mistakes Men Make
Last week, we posted the “Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Guys Make.” As it turned out, we were not alone! Frisky readers had some great input on what turns them off when it comes to getting courted online. Find out what they are after the jump.
“I would add NO NEGATIVITY. Such as:
*I just want to a find a woman who isn’t crazy
*Aren’t there ANY nice girls left?
*Materialist women need not apply, like we are all that girl
*Online dating is for losers, but hey I’ll give it a try
*Let’s tell people we met through friends, blah get over it. it’s 2010
*I gave up with online dating because it sucked but now I’m giving it another try.
Keep it light and positive. No one wants to hear your baggage and negativity right now. Yeah, dating is hard on all of us and we’ve all been banged up a little bit. Keep smiling and keep trying, now that’s sexy!” – AtlantaGirl10
“Actually, another major turn-off in a woman’s profile (and maybe this one is just personal) is to see some variation of ‘I love going out for a night on the town but also watching tv in my pjs.’ As is listing all the various places you’ve been to — makes one sound like a braggart.” – smoke
“Oh, one more. Getting too sexual, too fast.
‘Hey Sexy’ will not get you the reply from the ladies that you want.
‘Nice body’ ‘I love a woman with big breasts’ ‘You have such beautiful lips’
Anything remotely sexual right out of the gate is a TURN OFF.
We love sex and sex talk. But that is for later. Much later. Duh.” – AtlantaGirl10
“I’ve had dudes text-stalk me before, and it’s awful, so I don’t like to give out my # anymore. I’d rather email a couple times and usually I can tell if I’d ever want him to have my #. Usually, the answer is no, because of any one of the other things on your list. I also don’t respond to emails that just say to call him and give a #. Especially if they haven’t bothered to fill in their profile. You haven’t given me a REASON to call you.” – H. Blue
“Ask about where one of her pictures was taken (if you’re reasonably sure you’re right); if you’re familiar with the author of one of the books she lists as a favorite, mention another of his/her books and ask if she’s read it; if she’s into a particular artist/photographer/band, ask if she’s seen their latest nearby collection/concert … Find something in her profile you like or agree with and use it as a jumping-off point to pretend you’re talking to her in person, trying to initiate a conversation. Let’s chat sometime! does[n’t] really give her anything to respond to.” –Jessalyn
“I met my boyfriend of year+ on a dating site and luckily I was only on there about a month before I was lucky enough to come across him. I definitely had some weirdo[s] try to contact me, though. The line between creepy-eager and interested is definitely blurry but … for instance, I had one guy email me, and I sent one of the ‘not interested, I’ve met someone and want to see where it goes’ replies to him and shortly after hid my profile … Well, when I wasn’t sure if it was going to work out between my boyfriend and I maybe a month later, I un-hid my profile and that same guy emailed me again THAT DAY. Could have been a coincidence but it majorly creeped me out and I re-hid right away.
Also, guys that ask you if you want to meet up in their initial ‘hello’ email? Biiigg no-no.” –maynard
“As a terribly addicted online dater, I will not send a message to a guy with any shirtless flexing pictures. I dont care how much you work out or if it is your job to be a body builder … having a shirtless picture or a picture of just your body parts shows me you are low class and body obsessed.” –chelles_bells
“One guy sent me a list of ten reasons I should go out with him and when I never answered kept sending emails- saying how great he is, he’s a neurosurgeon — blah blah blah. Too desperate and creepy I never answered.” –Bebe2001
“Ironically, I hate it when guys start off by calling me beautiful.
1) I’m not beautiful. I’m not fishing for reassurance here; I’m not beautiful and I’m [mostly] OK with that. Yes, I picked a complimentary — though not unrealistic –photo of myself, but I’m not beautiful in the photo, either. You don’t have to start by laying it on thick and buttery. It makes you sound either super desperate, or like you think I’m stupid (and desperate, which, despite the stereotypes of online daters, I am not).
2) You [probably] didn’t read my profile. Don’t complain about all the shallow girls you meet if you don’t bother to read profiles. I put some work into mine — it had content and, damn, it was funny.
And, for the love of God, don’t hit me with ‘Wanna chat?’ IM’s. It’s 2:00 in the afternoon. Why aren’t you at work? And, no, I don’t want to chat. Send me an intelligent, composed, email.” – Blue Vibe
“if u tipe lik dis, i wil blo u off!” – resullins