Do Not Want: Sandra Bullock And Jesse James Allegedly Made A Dirty Video

And by dirty, I do mean dirty. Look, I am going to take this bit of gossip with a hefty grain of salt and you should too. That said, as always, I am here to report rumors as rumors, and just because we like Sandra Bullock and feel bad for her, doesn’t mean we should pretend this bit of salacious gossip didn’t land in our laps. SO. According to a “bombshell new report” from gossip writer Ian Halperin, Jesse James has a copy of sex tape he made with Bullock and it is a doozy. Read all about it, after the jump …The video — and you may want to put aside your breakfast before reading further — includes James “smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s ******* with a shotgun in his left hand.” Um. Yeah. Look, I just cannot even fathom this being true, and if it is, I can’t imagine the video actually ever coming to light, because if I were Bullock I would pay any dollar amount necessary to keep it under wraps. But OMG, regardless, this story got so, so, so much worse. Also, breakfast is totes ruined. [via Showbiz Spy]