Ask The Astrosexologist: “My Boyfriend’s Kid Drives Me Crazy”
I am a Scorpio dating a wonderful Aries. He is a great boyfriend and wonderful man; he treats me like a queen. I really can’t complain. However, he is also the dad of a cute three-year-old little boy. I had never dated a single dad before, but since he is great, I decided to give it a try. OH MY GOD WAS I WRONG!
It bothers me when he has to spend time with the kid, that we have to have dinner in certain places just so the kid could eat, it bothers me when the kid wakes up early, when he won’t stop talking or screaming, etc. Pretty much everything kid-related bothers me. I am not sure I want to have children ever, but my boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage and stuff so I would like to know if there is ever the chance that this could work out? Is it worth having all the trouble with the kid just so I can keep the daddy?
Your fate is in your hands and yours alone. No one can tell you what to do in this situation, but face it, the kid if never going away and if you really want to make it with the daddy, you are going to have to warm up to accepting the kid as part of the package deal — because if it came down to it, and daddy had to decide between you or him, you understand you would be the second priority. Also realize that what makes him a great boyfriend is also what makes him a great father — you can’t negate one part for the other at this point.
Although I have to say, it sounds like you are jealous of having to share your man. Of course, this is no shock, since Scorpio is the ruler of jealousy and they do tend not to be into sharing whom they are the most intimate with. However, on the upside, as the kid grows up, he won’t be as needy, and you might learn to find he can be a sweet addition to your life too … but chances are slim, since Scorpios rarely change their minds after they dislike someone or find something they have zero tolerance for.
No matter, the only thing you can do is at this point is to be 100% honest with your man and see what solutions you can come up with together. If you two do have any chance at working this relationship out, you are going to have to be upfront about all your feelings: the rated PG-ness his son brings into your relationship, the possibility that you might never want kids, the boundaries you need when his kid is around, etc. Since it sounds like your relationship is only going to go deeper, you’ll have to negotiate the direction and goals together as honestly as you can. You both have a say in what you want, but saying what you need is all part of it. Then, if you can work out this problem as a team, including that extra plus one of his, know it is a giant step into making it work in the long term.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!