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Jesse James Had A Foursome With Someone Named Skittles Valentine

I don’t know about you, but if I ever have a foursome, I am doing it Jesse James style and including a chick whose first name is a type of candy and last name is a holiday, like, oh, I don’t know, Skittles Valentine. No seriously, Jesse James and his original hooch, Michelle McGee, supposedly had a foursome with some other dude and that dude’s secretary, and that secretary is named Skittles Valentine. Anyhoo, this candy-coated foursome went down at some dirty San Diego bike shop, obviously, and protection was allegedly not used, because clearly you can’t get HIV or herpes from something that tastes like a rainbow. (Not true, you can, and Jesse and Sandra should both probably get tested.)

Not that this situation is funny, but Skittles Valentine has not stopped making me crack up for the last hour, so I decided to channel than energy into bestowing my fellow Frisky staffers with their own Jesse James Mistress Nickname. Check them out, after the jump, and then declare your own in the comments.Amelia: Twix Thanksgiving
Susannah: Snickers Christmas
Wendy: Jujubees Easter
Jessica: Hershey Independence
Annika: Starburst Hannakuh
Erin: Mentos Kwanzaa
Catherine: Mounds Ramadan
Simcha: Baby Ruth Passover
Kate: Almond Joy Halloween

[Lime Life]

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