10 Shows Kate Gosselin Should Try Out For After She Gets Kicked Off “DWTS”
I don’t think anyone has failed as monumentally as Kate Gosselin has on “Dancing With the Stars.” Her co-stars call her a diva, the judges tell her she sucks, and her partner got so frustrated in rehearsal that he ran out on her. Kate threatened to quit the show but it looks like her team probably won’t make it to the next round. This gig’s days are numbered, and if we know anything about Kate it’s that she’s already plotting her next move. Since we’re super helpful, we thought we’d round up 10 shows that Kate should try out for next!
- “Toddlers in Tiaras”: You know what’s cute? Little boys and girls in pageant costumes. Know what would be even cuter? Six of them in matching outfits, dancing in unison! Pageant life might be a good outlet for the reality mom’s controlling nature. And maybe those dumplings can win some scholarships so she’s not paying for eight educations?
- “For the Love of Kate”: I’m so sick of rock stars and reality show contestants getting dating shows, Kate actually needs a rebound man. Jon’s taken full advantage of his freedom, now Kate needs a stud who’ll help her take her hair down! At least the guys she’ll meet will come in knowing what they’re getting into after nearly a decade of reality exposure.
- “Grey’s Anatomy”: Now that Katherine Heigl’s left the show, they’re going to need an overbearing, whiny blond doctor to replace her! Kate can hook up with McSteamy and take control of those noisy operating rooms. Someone needs to keep those lazy writers on their toes.
- “Millionaire Matchmaker”: I would pay to see Kate Gosselin endure the dating wrath of Patti Stanger on “Millionaire Matchmaker.” I’m not sure if her riches have made her a millionaire, but Kate needs some Patti power to deal with her interactions with men. We all saw her shaming Jon on the show before he took over a task; maybe Patti can soften those rough edges?
- “Tool Academy”: I know there’s little chance of fixing Jon and Kate’s destroyed union, but Jon is a perfect candidate for “Tool Academy” with his cheating, Ed Hardy-loving and relational dysfunctional. He would inevitably fail all the temptation tasks and Kate can have another chance to yell at him on TV!
- “The Real Housewives of Pennsylvania”: It’s time we get some rural housewives on television, and who better to be queen bee than Kate? Throw in a couple die-hard Christians and some Amish wives, and we’ve got plenty of drama to build a multi-season arc of hair-pulling and wagon stealing. Kate’s already a weave in the right direction towards total housewife domination.
- “Cougar Town”: Sometimes I imagine Kate as being similar to the characters Courteney Cox takes on—her being a neurotic perfectionist and such. So, maybe Kate could share some of that red wine Courteney’s always swigging and find herself a young man to cougar-love for a season or two?
- “The Rachael Ray Show”: I don’t care if Kate has her own chef, Rachael Ray’s show isn’t about cooking anyway. Nice me would say that Rachael needs a sidekick and the women would get along, but in reality, I just want Kate to break Rachael’s spirit. She’s always so perky, saying inane things in that scratchy voice, making up annoying words all the time. Like Jon before her, Rachael would lose faith and each progressive season would make her more despondent with Kate’s help. I’m just killing two birds with one stone.
- “LA Ink”: Not to be a total tattoo snob, but Kate desperately needs Kat Von D’s help covering up that Pooh Bear tattoo on her ankle. It might not be a recurring role, but it would be worth it to upgrade to some more mature body art. It would also be fun to see Kate interact with a wilder bunch of women; it would be good for her to loosen up.
- “Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal”: I know it’s not fair to assume those little kids have psychic powers, but if twins can sometimes read each other’s thoughts, shouldn’t sextuplets have ultra psychic powers? Isn’t it at least worth a cross-over show to find out?