Kim Kardashian Is Not Marriage Material And 6 More Side Effects Of Sex Tapes

Kim Kardashian is regretting her Ray-J sex tape more than ever now because Reggie Bush’s mom has decided it disqualifies the reality star from being marriage material. According to a source, “Reggie’s mom just could not get over the fact that Kim had a sex tape. Reggie and his family are very conservative, and he told Kim that a marriage is never going to happen between them because of the tape. She’s still crazy about him. If she didn’t have the sex tape, she could have been Mrs. Bush.” [WWTDD]

Sure, stars have fabulous bodies that they like to film squishing against other stars’, but what about the ramifications? Kim might never get married! Here are a few other unexpected consequences of making a sex tape!

  1. 50 Cent Might Steal It. One Florida woman, Lastonia Leviston, was surprised to find that her sex tape was turned into a 50 Cent video. The rapper edited himself into the video wearing a red wig and calling himself Big Pimpin’ Curly. Leviston said that her boyfriend (whose face was blurred) was supposed to destroy the tape, but either sold or gave it to 50 Cent instead. She is suing the rapper and says the fact that he refers to her as a call girl in the video also caused her “severe emotional distress.” [CBS News] On that note, when a boy says he will “destroy” your sex tape, he really means he’s going to play it until it no longer works or that he’s going to sell it to rappers.
  2. Your Sister Will Give Up Her Dreams. Korean pop star Baek Ji Young thought her career was over when a sex tape was leaked in 2000. She says of the incident, “When it happened, I lived in hiding in the hotel. I was on the ninth floor and when I was looking down, I wasn’t thinking ‘I want to die’. I was thinking ‘it would be quick and easy to jump out’. I was in the worst position a woman could ever be in and I put my innocent family in pain… My sister used to love music and was a composer, but after what happened, she gave up on it.” [Seoul Beats] If you think even “safe” sex is safe, you’re wrong — think about your family!
  3. Your Ex Will Stalk You. Jennifer Lopez has moved on several times over, but her ex-husband Noa Ojani is still trying to use her as a propeller for fame. First, he tried to write a book about being married to her and J.Lo sued him for $545,000 and now she’s suing him again for trying to release clips of their sex tape in a mockumentary about his life. Ojani whined, “I’m not making any money from these videos. This is about having a closure. It’s my story. They’re trying to twist it, that everything is my fault. She’s trying to step on my shoes and not let me move on with my life, and it’s not fair.” [Lime Life] You know what’s actually not fair? That poor J.Lo has to monitor an army of exes who’re trying to cash in on her hard work.
  4. You Will Never Be a Princess. Paris Hilton says that the worst thing about her tape was that she’ll never get to be like her role model: “I used to look up to Princess Diana and all those women and now I know I could never be like that.” On the plus side, she’ll never have to marry someone who looks like Prince Charles. [The Sun] And princesses probably have sex tapes too; they just also have Secret Security.
  5. You’ll Get Old. Apparently dealing with the repercussions of a leaked sex tape ages you. Former Brat Packer Chad Lowe, whose sex tapes were leaked before the internet even existed, said of the ordeal, “The whole thing sped up the aging process. I now have a few lines around the eyes to prove it.” After two threesome (one with male accompaniment) videos were leaked, Rob went from partying with Princess Stephanie to a quieter existence. [People] But your nubile young fleshy body will live forever in film!
  6. No One Will Care. This is the most unexpected consequence of a sex tape. You got naked, you tricked other people into getting naked, you filmed it, and no one cared? Diss. Dustin Diamond went through all the trouble of releasing his own porn in 2006, thinking it would be good for his career. But, shock of all shocks, women don’t want to see Screech having sex. [Examiner] Half the fun of sex tapes is the scandal; it’s not nearly as satisfying when it’s self-published!