For The Week Of March 29-April 4, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Chill out. This is your time to recollect all the activity that has been going on in your life and just absorb it. Once you start to fit all the pieces in, you will see something forming that you didn’t quite see before. Don’t worry, chances are this will be a good thing and will lead you to a whole new aspiration that will keep you happily occupied for quite a while.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re not one to get angry quickly, so when you do, if that person isn’t getting it without you needing to explain it in full detail, then time to really consider your judgment on them. After all, if they can’t see they’ve crossed the line, understand they aren’t going to get what makes you happy either.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

All those hopes and wishes you started to plant will slowly start to blossom now, revealing the fruits of your labor. Although things don’t appear exactly as you imagined, the surprises that pop out will be to your liking. If not at the very start, do trust that it will be an acquired taste you will grow to love and intensely crave.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You can’t help everyone, no matter how right on you are. So, as you get shut down for being honest, even after you were asked for your opinion, don’t take it personally. Trying to be a good friend isn’t all rainbows and unicorns as it should be, especially when that someone around you chooses to act like a total crackhead.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Finally, you’ll be making headway in getting rid of some of the red tape that’s been making you crazy. With this extra time, you’ll no doubt be feeling friskier and freer — which will be music to your baby’s ears. However, with something as monumental as this, don’t waste it on any ole bed. Skip town and mark new territories. The change in environment alone is orgasm enough.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Giving the benefit of the doubt has burned you before, but this week, you will find miracles are waiting for you as someone surprises you beyond your expectation and restores your faith in humanity. Yes, it’ll be one of those sudden magical moments that will make you fall to your knees and do all sorts of salty acts of praise you never saw coming.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Don’t get freaked out as that certain someone starts acting out in a more covert kind of way. Everybody needs space and it doesn’t always have to be a reflection of you or your relationship. Of course, if it really does bug you, go ahead and break out the discussion on the 3rd, but no time earlier. However, do understand you will be tinkering with something that isn’t broken.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Don’t get all freaked out when someone you thought had no backbone suddenly starts to flex theirs and really puts you in your place. While that may seem impossible, you do know that sudden attacks are not your strong point, leaving you to vulnerable positions when they do occur. Luckily, this one will come with a very happy ending.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You can’t keep dreaming of change without putting out efforts to make it happen. Time to make decisions and take chances in your day-to-day life. While you aren’t great at motivating yourself, it doesn’t mean you can’t take shortcuts, as in picking up the phone and getting someone else to come inspire you. Plus, chances are this person’s number is already in your speed dial.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

It’s your time to dream a little dream, because something dramatic and most likely fabulous is in your stars and it will be making you feel like a fairytale princess. Of course, depending on how you’ve been leading your life, this could also be a Cinderella situation, when you have to live among those bitchy stepsisters. Either/or, by the end of this week, the power is going to be yours.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

People can be so stupid and so slow. Thankfully, you’re not. So, feel free to show off your cocky side and get things moving! Whoever you are trying to connect with isn’t getting the message and if you want to see if there are any signs of life, you will have to reach out first. After that, if they’re still as unresponsive, feel free to judge them all you want.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You have a most delightful way of speaking and can charm whomever you want, whenever you want. This week, give them a taste, but don’t let them bite. Best to be vague to lure them in, as you won’t be feeling as decisive as you want. Sure, it might be a tad cruel, but as long as it’s you getting what you want, who cares?