Who We’re Rooting For On “Dancing With The Stars”

Dancing with the Stars” is so cheesy that it often makes me want to scream. What’s up with the lame music picks? And the judges with their paddle scores? And Brooke Burke’s overly Botoxed face asking ridiculous questions backstage? And yet, I watch. Why? Because seeing B- and C-listers dance—often awkwardly—is just blissful. After last night’s premiere episode, I have picked my favorites for the season. And here they are, starting with Pamela Anderson. I was worried about her when she said, “I have no rhythm. And I’m tone deaf.” But she managed to get it together for her performance. “I can only think of sex, sex, and more sex,” Judge Bruno yelled grossly after her performance. “Striperella is back home. Do it to me, girl.” Uh, go take a cold shower, dude.

After the jump, performances from my other faves.

Shannen Doherty has the rep for being a mega witch, but she totally won me over last night. She explained that she was doing the show for her dad, who just had a stroke. After her performance, she broke into tears. “Did you see my dad’s face?” she said. You show ‘em, Shannen.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin will no doubt be voted off the show first—his dancing sucked. But good lord, he was sweet. And remember that he’s 80, people—different standards apply.

I am also so, so rooting for Niecy Nash, who not only looked gorgeous last night but had some serious shimmy in her hips. But, sigh, No video seems to be available, so you’ll just have to take my word on it.