For The Week Of March 22-28, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Be careful of what you reveal and to whom, because haters will be out and will twist and use your words to their benefit. However, if somehow this works out to you getting trapped into having an intimate and intense conversation with that someone who puts you on edge, well, then, this is when you’ll see how much tact you actually possess and what your true feelings are.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Feel the love, because whatever you have going on is beautiful! Sure, at times it’s not exactly what you envisioned, but perfection is only a fleeting notion anyway. As for your big picture, realize what you have does fall in line with it all, and if not 100 percent, trust you are at least on your path to the riveting happiness you theorize in your mind.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Throw away your agenda, because a new and more happening schedule of events is heading your way and it’ll be like a fire under your booty, as the speed in which you will have to travel will be faster and more intense than ever. While it might initially be a shock to your system, you’ll find that the exchange of instant gratification will more than suffice for your agony.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sudden passionate connections are in your stars, and it’ll be the whole package deal. Not only is this someone who’ll make you sweat in all the right places, but he can actually hold up his end of a conversation too. Yes, that unicorn you have been dreaming of is coming onto the scene and ready to rock your world. Now, time to see what tricks you’ve got up your sleeve to seal the deal.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

A little tension never hurt anybody, so don’t even think of caving in just to end the drama and get on with your life. Realize the choices you make now set a precedent: While you think you are paying a little of your pride now, don’t underestimate the actual price you are actually shelling out. Think harder on all the causes and effects of your decisions now.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

When you hear fighting words from your baby, be ready to stand up and throw them back just as hard. This isn’t the time to sit back and try to make excuses for anyone, because no rationale will work or should work. Besides, why be a doormat for those overly aggressive types? Realize that just because they are louder, that doesn’t make them right.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There are times when taking the easy way out is OK. This week, no matter what ails you, don’t be shy to throw money at the problem. It will go away. While it might not necessarily go away forever, who cares! This isn’t the week you want to waste worrying about issues that only hold you back.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be revving yourself up with mucho energy, and this will mean you’ll be as daring as you will be careless. Whatever the case, you can’t help who you are and this week it’s all about letting the chips fall where they may. Luckily, in the mix not only will the chips fall where they want, so will a few panties. And for that: oh-la-la!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You have to let your imagination run away with itself, even if it scares you. In fact, the more it frightens you, the more you should realize that a change of pace is needed and some sudden actions taken. The faster you can move now, the better the results will come — it’s your instincts now that will drive you to the best parts of your fantasies.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Don’t stop to think. Get your curiosities out with that certain someone who has been circling about and learn what you need from stepping it up. If you keep obsessing about the situation, you will kill any chance at a decent orgasm — and if there is anything you need right now, it’s a giant jolt of energy into your vortex of love. That’s right, time to hit it and quit it.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You know what feels good and for that alone, you should be giving yourself a big ole pat on the back. Finding peace of mind is like finding a needle in the haystack. Once you secure it, you should never let it go. Not to say it’s all a walk in the park, because it’s not. So as you enter this week, weary of your status, get ready to put on the warrior gear and fight the big fight.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The world is officially yours, if you want it. The thing, though, is that you can’t just wish for the mundane. Time to reach sky high, to come up with the most absurd dreams possible, because only when you let your mind go there will you have a whole new realm of possibilities open up.