Men and women behave differently when shopping for clothes. Women tend to take longer than men when picking out their wardrobes. I know, you’ve never heard this before. However, nobody really addresses the male thought process when shopping. It’s different from the way women think, sometimes bizarrely so. Here’s a look at what guys think during their clothes shopping excursions.
- Deciding When To Shop: Men follow very simple rules when deciding when to shop. For instance, if you are currently wearing clothes, it is usually not necessary to shop for more clothes, unless a wedding, funeral, first date, or job interview is coming up. In these situations, we’ll inspect our closets to see if we have at least one nice shirt without pie stains on it. This is often not the case, as pie is served at most of these “nice dress” events. It is a cruel paradox.
The other reason a man might need to shop for clothing is if his supply of socks or underwear has become completely exhausted, or if these items are so grubby they constitute a serious biological or environmental threat. Or, you know, if we’re already out shopping and we see a pack on sale.
- Selecting A Store: To decide which store to visit to find a particular piece of clothing, men resort to a Socratic-type questioning system. “Does the store I’m considering sell the item that I need?” If the answer is yes, they will go into the store. Otherwise, they will scratch their balls and go home.
Men don’t think about brands while shopping, unless they think that wearing a specific brand can get them laid. It usually cannot, regardless of what we think. However, advertising can confuse the weak-minded.
- Finding A Product: We will walk over to the stack of items and select a product that matches our size and does not appear stained. Product selection complete.
- Checking The Price: It’s important not to pay too much for clothing, so we carefully compare the cost of the garment to the number 20. If the clothing costs more than $20, it’s not worth it.
If, however, the clothes cost less than $20, they might actually be worth it. At this point, we’ll look at the line and make sure there aren’t more than two people standing there. If there are, it’s not worth the wait. Our time is invaluable.
Once the decision has been made, men will either buy the product or toss it haphazardly back to the shelves and get the hell out of the store as quickly as possible. Any man who spends more time choosing clothes and checking prices is probably better looking than the man writing this article.
What do you think of guys’ shopping abilities?