Trailer Park: “Remember Me,” “Green Zone,” “She’s Out Of My League,” “Our Family Wedding”

Sure, the Oscars are over and the best movies of 2009 have been awarded little gold men, but it’s 2010 now and we get a whole new score sheet of movies to love and hate. And so you don’t lose next year’s Oscar bets, you’d better start watching them now. I’m not necessarily saying any of this week’s movies are Oscar-worthy, but they’ll at least be entertaining … hopefully. This week, something tragic happens in “Remember Me,” something tragic already happened in “Green Zone,” unmatched people date in “She’s Out of My League,” and racism still exists in “Our Family Wedding.”

The Move: “Remember Me”
The Trailer: Angsty rich boy Tyler (Robert Pattinson) falls for regular girl Ally (Emilie de Ravin) and they each bring matching family drama luggage; Tyler with his horribly cruel business-mogul dad (Pierce Brosnan) and sad, little too-smart sister and Ally with her angry cop dad (Chris Cooper). The two bare their fare share of crisis and then, inevitably, something bad happens.
The Hitch: My friend was like, “I don’t want to see that movie; I heard what happens at the end,” to which I responded, “One of them dies? It may as well be called, ‘Someone Dies In This Movie.'” Seriously. At least leave us with a question mark. Also, why are they making Robert Pattinson and Pierce Brosnan Americans when they’re both sexy Brits? There’s no sense in making Brosnan struggle through an American accent the entire movie.

The Move: “Green Zone”
The Trailer: Roy Miller (Matt Damon) is a U.S. Army chief warrant officer, stationed in Baghdad when the U.S. starts its occupation of Iraq in 2003, desperately searching for those alleged weapons of mass destruction. Miller starts wondering why these WMDs don’t seem to exist and realizes George Bush duped us, risking his and his men’s lives. So he starts unraveling the lies and knocking out bad guys along the way. Meanwhile, his superiors, CIA operative (Brendan Gleeson) and State Department operative (Greg Kinnear), have their own ideas on how to handle things. There’s also a lady Wall Street Journal reporter (Amy Ryan) who is totally down to ride the Bush train of lies and an Iraqi citizen Freddy (Khalid Abdalla) who helps Miller despite the fact that the support isn’t mutual.
The Hitch: I don’t think anyone’s under the impression that Bush did anything right or that we should have invaded Iraq. OK, I’m sure people are under those impressions but they really shouldn’t be. But it’s hardly timely at this point, post-election and post-Bush. There’s apparently a lot of finger-pointing for crimes and operations we already know were committed. But like the “Bourne” series, there is plenty of action to distract you from all of these details.

The Move: “She’s Out of My League”
The Trailer: Molly (Alice Eve) is a beautiful perfect kinda event planner who, after losing her iPhone, asks out the awkward airport security man-boy Kirk (Jay Baruchel) who finds it. The rest of the movie is basically all “Boy, that girl is way too pretty for you,” and “I know dude. I know.” Throw in some boner jokes and trash-talking so that Kirk is not only a total loser, but he’s also humiliated too. I guess it’s all worth it for the chance to score a “10,” though?
The Hitch: This is basically “Knocked Up” but without the pregnancy that makes their staying together plausible. It looks like a funny movie but, to be honest, I’m totally sick of movies telling nerd guys that nerd girls aren’t good enough for them! You’re an under-achieving (sometimes unattractive), broke nerd—if a beautiful woman with a successful career wants to date you, she might have issues that will eventually be resolved. And somewhere, there is an eccentric, adorable, slacker girlfriend waiting for you to fall in love with her but by the time you find her, you’re going to have that perfect woman’s image burned into the back of your eyes and no one will live up to her. Probably.

The Move: “Our Family Wedding”
The Trailer: Lucia (America Ferrera) comes from a boisterous Mexican-American family, while her fiancé, Marcus (Lance Gross), is African-American. Apparently Mexican-Americans and African-Americans have a lot of preconceptions and, despite how far we’ve come, interracial dating is still taboo. Lucia’s father (Carlos Mencia) and Marcus’ pops (Forest Whitaker) share some sort of machismo rivalry and Lucia’s grandmother (Lupe Ontiveros) literally faints because of Marcus’ race.
The Hitch: The whole family freaking out because your baby’s marrying someone of a different race is so old-school. My parents wouldn’t even remotely care, and they used to be Republicans! Racial tension might offer some amusing antidotes, but I don’t think in this day and age that it’s enough to warrant an entire movie on the subject. That being said, I love America Ferrera and hope she gets more movie roles.