Breaking news: getting plastic surgery off the “black market” is a bad idea! Six Dominican woman from the Newark, New Jersey area have been hospitalized with infections from “black market” butt implants by a fake “plastic surgeon.” Health officials say Dr. Shady injected the women’s derrieres with “a variety of unknown materials,” possibly including silicone, petroleum jelly and hardware-grade caulk. Ewwww. In a second obvious sign of sketchiness, all of the “implant” procedures apparently took place inside hotels. Yes, hotels. Congratulations, New Jersey. You have managed to top the Staten Island, New York plastic surgeon who, in 2003, accidentally gave a woman four breast implants instead of two.
Ladies, I have a better plan to get a Kim Kardashian booty without butt implants: drink one Starbucks mocha Frappucino morning, noon and night, and eat a box of Girl Scout cookies for a snack every afternoon. Works like a charm in no time! [Fox News]