The Premiere Of “The Real Housewives Of NYC” Was, In A Word, Grating

Midway through last night’s premiere of “The Real Housewives of New York City,” I noticed something funny. My heart was beating faster than normal and my breathing was shallow. I felt like I had just had eight cups of coffee back to back, and that the caffeine was surging its way through my body. In other words, I felt really stressed out. Why? Because the show was basically just a compilation of fights between very aggressive, annoying women over very stupid things. Things started with LuAnn De Lesseps grilling Ramona Singer because her husband had, months before, dared to mutter the word “countless” under his breath in her presence and the whole thing was SO UPSETTING. From there, Ramona totally flipped out, oscillating between chihuahua going for the throat bite and Buddhist monk in touch with the pulse of the universe. A few minutes later, Bethenny Frankel went to meet LuAnn for coffee—where LuAnn picked another stupid fight over a comment Bethenny had made last season about paying for LuAnn’s surfing lessons. And that was really just the tip of the fight iceberg. Here’s what gets me. All the fights were about the women stewing over itty-bitty comments that the viewer had long since forgotten and blowing them up from mole hills into mountains. I almost wish there was a rule that the women weren’t allowed to watch the show, so that they could live their actual lives and have the show be about that, rather than just a recap of the fights and beefs over what was said by whom behind their backs. Because, actually, there are interesting things going on in these women’s lives. LuAnn just got divorced and is dating for the first time in 16 years. Jill’s husband had a cancer scare—show us that. Ramona lost her dad and has been on a spiritual journey—show us that.

On a side note, Bethenny has always, hands down, been my favorite cast member of all the “Real Housewives” franchises for being the voice of reason in a world of insanity. But even she managed to come off as super insensitive last night for not being there for her friends while they were going through hard times, and assuming they were jealous over her new dude rather than just needing her. Plus, her and her boyfriend’s habit of calling each other “baby” constantly was grossing me out.

So I dunno. I think it might be time to break up with this show. Curious to hear what you guys think.