10 Thoughts After Seeing Tim Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland”

I heart twisted Tim Burton movies: “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure,” “Beetlejuice,” “Edward Scissorhands,” “Ed Wood,” “The Nightmare Before Christmas” … I’m just reading off my DVD shelf here. So there was no way I was going to wait one more minute to see his interpretation of “Alice In Wonderland.” I did my nails Burton-style and was at the first showing at midnight last night/this morning and let me tell you, despite all the hype, I was not disappointed! You should totes ignore the negative reviews and see it in 3-D for yourself … I still can’t believe Disney let him make this movie! Here are 10 things I was thinking after seeing the flick.Johnny Depp Crispin Glover

  1. I still want to make sweet, sweet love to Johnny Depp, even after seeing him look like this for two hours.
  2. Tim Burton is a lover of women who labored over this girl power anthem.
  3. A face scar and heart eye-patch combo was sooooo bad-boy hot. Too bad it was wasted on Crispin Glover, who I suspect is not acting and is just that creepy in real life.
  4. Mia Wasikowska, who plays Alice, is a badass.
  5. I wish every time I ate a cookie I got taller, not fatter.
  6. While Burton has great taste in aesthetics, storylines, and ladies, his musical taste is not up to the same standards. How can you put Avril Lavigne and Helena Bonham Carter in the same movie?
  7. If I ever get a bunny rabbit as a pet, I will make it wear a waistcoat complete with a pocketwatch.
  8. My three favorite colors (red, black, and white) are always the evil villains’ favorites too. If you’re a shrink, tell me what that means in the comments, and if I should be concerned?
  9. Everyone who went to see the movie on opening night owns clothing from Hot Topic.
  10. If you like dragon fight scenes in 3-D, you will like this movie.

Have you seen “Alice in Wonderland” yet or will you be going this weekend?