An Ode To Our Favorite Drunk “Housewives”

Bethenny Frankel had to do the unthinkable—film this season of “The Real Housewives of New York City” sans the sauce because she is pregnant. “Shooting this season without alcohol was a real achievement,” said Bethenny. “It was like being in the desert without water.” I’m a little disappointed that Bethenny will have to put down the Skinny Bitch Margaritas, since her drunken banter with Jill Zarin is my favorite part of the show. But as long as the rest of the ladies are still up to their shenanigans, I’m sure the show will still be excellent. [TresSugar]

In remembrance of the good times, we’ve rounded up some of the best drunken “Housewife” moments, both on and off the screen, from whichever city said good times went down in.

  • It was pretty awkward when Star published pictures of “Real Housewives of Orange County” cast member Vicki Gunvalson making out with a 25-year-old college student. He told the tabloid, “Vicki was extremely outgoing and having a great time, like a sorority girl. We clicked immediately and danced to rock ‘n’ roll by Bon Jovi and Journey. She was living it up. She kept talking to me. She was a big flirt.” Having never been a member of the Greek system, I’ll have to assume that “having a great time like a sorority girl” translates to “getting black-out drunk” in jock speak? [Star]
  • Meanwhile, on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” season finale, Teresa hosted a dinner party. When Danielle Staub pulled out her ex-boyfriend’s tell-all book to clear the air, Teresa went nuts on her. She called Danielle a “prostitution whore” and flipped the dinner table, shrieking like a banshee. When she calmed down a bit, Teresa said, “[Danielle] doesn’t know who the f**k she’s f**king with. OK? And I have no f**king skeletons in my f**king closet.” Jeez, you kiss your family with that mouth? [Jezebel]
  • It was never clear whether Kelly Bensimon was drunk when she went off on Bethenny Frankel, but I have to assume she was at the very least high on something. First, she told Bethenny that they would never be friends … after inviting her out to a bar, making her wait half an hour, and mumble-yelling that she’s too busy for “all of this” and that Bethenny is “embarrassing.” When a confused Frankel attempts to leave, Kelly jumps out from a corner to spew more crazy before retiring with her “date,” whom she confides in about how “sophomoric” Bethenny is. The whole scene made Kelly look like a sociopath and Bethenny seemed more down-to-earth than ever. [CeleBuzz]
  • It’s always a super great idea when grown women decide it’s their mission to make another grown woman “wasted.” Which is what happened on “Real Housewives of Orange County” when the housewives Tamra and Vicki had Gretchen Rossi over for a dinner party. “We’re gonna get Gretchen wasted … naked wasted,” said Tamra. “We’re gonna try to get her to do something stupid.” After a few rounds of tequila shots, they got their wish and Gretchen started flirting with Tamra’s 22-year-old son, Ryan. “I’m looking for somebody to clean my palette,” she said. Eww, he’s not a sorbet, woman! After they start getting gropey, Gretchen says, “Wait, how old are you?” before disappearing with him into the bathroom. [Orange County Register]
  • Real Housewives of Atlanta” star NeNe Leakes didn’t have to worry about being tardy to the party when she went out to dinner with “Orange County” star Gretchen this fall. But she should have had some concern for public drunkenness. Once the paparazzi showed up, NeNe starting pretending to make out with Gretchen and grabbed her own boob saying, “I should pull my breasts out and milk Hollywood!” [Necole Bitchie]