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The 25 Most Unsexy Sounds Ever

I’ve always been really sensitive to sound. When my brother was little, he was prone to having the sniffles, uh, constantly, and the sound of his blowing his nose constantly drove me insane. There are ever so many sounds that not only bug the crap out of me, but are generally considered wholly unsexy the entire world over. Check out 25, after the jump …

  1. Someone blowing their nose.
  2. Toenails being clipped.
  3. Gum-smacking.
  4. The clink-clink of an exposed metal heel walking on pavement.
  5. Slurping soup or spaghetti.
  6. Water from the shower hitting an inch of water at the bottom of the bathtub when the drain is somewhat clogged.
  7. The words “moist,” “cutlet,” “soiled,” and “panties” pronounced out loud.
  8. The whirl of a hairdryer.
  9. The phrase “I’m not in love with you anymore” delivered by someone you’re very much in love with.
  10. The remaining droplets of liquid sipped through a straw.
  11. Nadya Suleman’s laugh.
  12. A dog’s yelp when its tail is stepped on.
  13. The scurry of rodent feet across hardwood floors.
  14. A woodpecker doing its business.
  15. A dog or cat licking its nether-regions.
  16. “On the Wings of Love” by Jeffrey Osbourne.
  17. Cotton mouth.
  18. The somewhat distracting hum of the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Luckily, its powers more than make up for its sound.)
  19. Slow, wet farts.
  20. Sneakers squeaking.
  21. Head-scratching.
  22. Nails on a chalkboard.
  23. Snooki’s voice saying just about anything (though we love her anyway).
  24. Teeth sucking.
  25. A super phlegm-y cough.
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