Do The Women On “American Idol” Really Have A Chance This Season?

I was so pumped to see the top 12 ladies perform last night on “American Idol,” especially since every other sentence out of the judges’ mouths during Hollywood week was, “The girls are the best ever this year!” After the teasers I saw, I was thinking they were right, that I’d have to hitch a plane to L.A. and stalk the Kodak Theatre. But last night was stank city! Even the girls that I was fantasizing about being great sucked. And the judges seemed like they were going easy on them in a first grade teacher to the slow student kind of way. But I don’t want to watch “American Idol: No Singer Left Behind.” Cut those awful bitches! Was it just opening night jitters, or do the girls this season really blow (in a bad way, not in a Randy Jackson slang kind of way)? I’m hoping for something better … like much better from the guys or else I may be watching this season just for Ellen’s jokes. After the jump, some of the girls I thought I’d be excited about and my review of their performance last night.

Katie Stevens: I’ve had my eye on this chick since her audition. In case you forgot, she’s the 17-year-old who has a grandma with Alzheimer’s. Human-interest stories aside, this girl’s voice is drop dead. But last night she made me cringe with her version of Michael Buble’s “Feelin’ Good.” Just because she loves her granny doesn’t mean she has to sing a song for her. I’m hoping she’ll actually do something fun next week … for the kids … and me.

Crystal Bowersox: This hippie chick with a kid has consistently knocked my socks off with her Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, Melissa Etheridge vibe. She even rocks a guitar and a harmonica. She could probably sing the dictionary and be more interesting than every other contestant. Sadly, I wasn’t really digging her version of Alanis Morissette’s “One Hand In My Pocket” last night. I had one hand on the remote control. Even still, I’m voting for her. Why? Because she understands how ludicrous the “American Idol” franchise is and I like someone who can buck the system. She will be a star regardless.

Lilly Scott: Lilly has this jazzy/indie vibe going on that I’ve been into all along. I will admit that I was impressed (but not bowled over) by her version of The Beatles’ “Fixing A Hole,” although something about it was strangely sexual. “I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in,” takes on a whole new meaning when cooed. Something about the fact that Lilly admitted that she plays on the street for money also kind of made me like her more.

Siobahn Magnus: I’m obsessed with this girl because she’s such a legitimate weirdo who also happens to have a lot of talent. Even if she’s not the best, I always enjoy imagining what she does all day alone in her glass blowing studio in small town Massachusetts. She’s kind of like an updated indie version Ally Sheedy’s character from the “Breakfast Club.” While her rendition of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” was not the best by any means, it kind of scared me in a PJ Harvey kind of way and I liked it. Siobahn, if nothing else, should add a refreshing oddity to the season.