Ask The Astrosexologist: Will My Aries Boyfriend Always Want To “Improve” Me?
I’m a Virgo, currently in the middle of a whirlwind romance with my Aries boyfriend. We love each other and were/are planning on moving in together; we have so many things in common, but enough is different to make it interesting. I love being with him and constantly miss him when he’s not around. He has told me many times that he wants to give me everything he possibly can.
Recently however, he developed an obsession with “improving” me. I’ve always had a bit of an identity crisis, but he’s convinced he can take me and turn me into something extraordinary. However when I had a moment of clarity, he told me that I was finally figuring out how “amazing” I am and that I deserved the best — namely, not him. He said he didn’t want to “waste” my time and broke up with me. The exact moment I felt really good about where I was in life, he told me that he couldn’t be with me anymore, but that he would always be there for me if I needed him.
Four hours later we were back together, which took a lot of fighting and convincing on my part and he told me again that he loved me as we parted for the night.
Unfortunately, now part of me is wondering if he was right about us being too different and if there is going to be a constant theme of miscommunication because I’m logical and he’s emotional. What really puzzles me is why he would have spent so much time on trying to better me if he felt like he was going to dump me once I finally figured out how “wonderful” I am. I tried asking him, but I didn’t receive an actual answer to that question, just a lot of sidestepping.
What do you think? Is this Virgo/Aries romance something that can actually work? Or is this just dangerous territory and was I just some kind of pet project? – Getting Better
This is dangerous territory and you should back away immediately! This has mind f**k written all over it! The fact that he’s out to “improve you” says enough. Fact is, you are already extraordinary. Whether or not you know how to fully own it, doesn’t matter, you already are. So, to have some guy come along to insinuate you aren’t, that he can “help” you, and then to dump you when you realize that you are already fab — that shows he has low self-esteem and is out to try to control you. The fact that he likes to see you when you are down, as in obsessed with “improving” you, is not good!
As a Virgo, you do tend to be into improving yourself, but this is not the true sense of what that should mean. Sure, improve your eating habits and don’t talk on the phone when you drive — but you are not a project and any man who can’t see you as a person, instead of a chore, doesn’t deserve you! Back away from him immediately and keep walking, because this year your house of partnerships is lighting up to get you lucky with the right person. You have to be willing to take those astrological challenges — like clearing out the skeletons in your closet and really owning your magnificence. Thankfully, you already sound like you are doing this by getting in touch with your inner goddess — Virgo is the harvest Queen of the zodiac.
Yes, that sounds a bit hokey and all, but that is what Virgo is about — one who can bring results! Know it, own it and see that you don’t need anyone to validate you because that isn’t what a healthy relationship is about. It’s about two people who bring out the best in each other without having to knock them down first!
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!
Want to know what’s in store for your sign in 2010? Don’t forget to check out The Frisky’s Astro Guide 2010!