I’m A Recovering Sex Addict
“Jennifer” is a recovering sex addict. She’s not addict to drugs or alcohol, but she is addicted to having sex. While the stereotype of a sex addict is a) male and b) someone who engages in random sex, that wasn’t Jennifer’s MO. Instead, she was a chronic cheater, who couldn’t stop herself, carrying on a series of affairs while in relationships or, worse yet, married. “My husband was really good-looking, nice, smart, funny — everybody says he’s such a great guy,” she writes, “but because he was so familiar I was tired of him.” So, she set about finding other men. As she puts it, “I’m just sort of wired wrong.” Some women shop. She longs to have sex. As a result, she confesses, “I’ve spent the last six years trying to rewire my brain when it comes to sex.” What led her down this path? Jennifer confesses that she was sexually abused when she was child. At the time, she was in a room while her father was in another room not that far away. As an adult, what turned her on the most in the throes of her sexual addiction was having sex with her boyfriend when her husband was not far away.
Eventually, she sought help. Her first therapists didn’t understand what they were dealing with and suggested that she masturbate more frequently. Suffice to say, that didn’t work. Ultimately, like every addict, she got found out. Her husband found “sex emails” written by her and her lover, mailed them to her family, and pronounced, “I’m filing for divorce from Jennifer, and here’s why.” Oops.
In the end, she was able to admit that she was addicted to sex. She went to The Meadows for treatment — the same sex rehab clinic that Tiger Woods went to. Now, she goes to Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, which, she notes, are mostly male. Her marriage was more difficult to repair; they split up. “I will always be a recovering sex addict,” she says today. “We believe sex is the most important need, more important than food.” [Health.com]