Apparently, school dances have progressed from the days when the girls stood at one side of the gym and the boys stood on the other. Nope, today’s horny little teenagers are freaking and grinding and doing whatever they can at school dances to rub their privates together. How do I know about this problem? Well, I used to be a high school teacher, which meant I was also required to chaperone at least two school dances per year. I taught at an all-girls Catholic school, meaning that freaking was strictly forbidden. The worst part was that as a chaperone I was required to wear a T-shirt that said in big, black block lettering, “NO FREAKING ALLOWED,” and carry a flashlight to shine on teens getting down on the dance floor. This was extremely uncomfortable for me because: A) I’m actually not terribly anti-freaking as long as there is no nudity, harassment, or actual sex; B) I so didn’t want an image of my students getting jiggy on the dance floor burned into my memory; and C) since I looked so young at the time, in the dark most of the boys thought I was a teenage girl attending the dance stag. Once a young dude even grabbed me and started freaking with me when I shined the light on his gyrating pelvis. My female students just stood around chanting my name. Awkward and mortifying.
But it looks like other high schools are cracking down on bumping and grinding, too. And they’re getting pretty creative.
- At Pacific Hills High School in West Hollywood, they like to threaten their students with bad music if the freaking gets out of control. If anyone is caught grinding, it’s lights up and Burt Bacharach for the rest of the night.
- At Nathan Hale High in Seattle, all dances were postponed indefinitely after grinding got out of control. In order to have their semi-formal, students will have to sign a dance contract geared toward eliminating “lewd contact” before they can attend. At the dance, they’ll get their wrist band cut off after one grinding offense and will be asked to leave after the second.
- After condoms were found on the dance floors at nearby schools, the principal at Aliso Niguel High School in Aliso Viejo, California, is making all attendees of the winter formal sign a dance contract that specifically forbids grinding, garters, lingerie, or other exposed excessively short skirts and the removal of shirts.
- There are no contracts to be signed at Minnetonka High School in Minnesota. The school’s principal launched the “Dance Like Grandma’s Watchin’” campaign to discourage the dirty dance moves.
- When the Salina Public Schools in Salina, Kansas banned suggestive dancing, students decided to fight for their right to party. They boycotted their schools’ homecoming dances and organized their own event where more than 400 students who were ready to freak attended. [MSN]