What The Hell Is A “Vagina Facial”?

I know what you’re thinking and it’s not that, you perv. A vagina facial — or a “vagacial,” as it’s called — is a post-waxing treatment at the Script Wax Bar in San Francisco available to women one week after they’ve gotten a Brazilian. According to BellaSugar, for $60, the spa’s estheticians will cleanse your vulva with anti-bacterial body wash and witch hazel (witch hazel?), exfoliate, pluck out ingrown hairs, apply “an anti-freckle, anti-acne, or calming mask,” and then a lightening cream.

My oh my, where to start … ? Plucking ingrown hairs out of a wax job is understandable — but all the other so-called beauty treatments involved in the “vagacial” sound straight-up dodgy. The “perfect vagina” obsession is going way, way, way too far. Will “vagina facials” be the next freaky cosmetic trend that encourages women try to “pretty up” their vaginas with pink labia dyes, mints and douches? And why bother waxing down there if you are, for some reason, convinced your vulva is too freckle-y or too dark? Just keep it covered with hair. Duh!

Come on, girls, your ladyflower does not need to look “like a porn star.” Regardless of what your vagina looks like, there are millions of peeps out there who’ll be obsessed with it. I promise. [BellaSugar, Jezebel]