Phil Garrido‘s trial begins on Feb. 26. In the meantime, he is trying to force prosecuters to reveal where Jaycee Lee Dugard, the woman he kidnapped and than held prisoner for 18 years, fathering two children with her, is hiding. Apparently, Garrido had set up a plan in case Jaycee was ever found—she was supposed to go to a specific lawyer, who would communicate with Garrido off the record. Luckily, she didn’t and prosecuters are seeking a protective order to make sure Garrido stops trying to contact her.
To this end, they’ve released some excerpts of a diary Jaycee kept during her ordeal. They’re pretty wrenching, and show just how much psychological power this dude wielded over her.An excerpt written in 1993, two years after her abduction:
“I got [a cat] for my birthday from Phil and Nancy … They did something for me that no one else would do for me, they paid 200 dollars just so I could have my own kitten.”
In 2003, she wrote:
“I don’t want to hurt him … sometimes I think my very presence hurts him … so how can I ever tell him how I want to be free. Free to come and go as I please … Free to say I have a family. I will never cause him pain if it is in my power to prevent it. FREE.”
And a year later, she said:
“It feels like I’m sinking. I’m afraid I want control of my life … this is supposed to be my life to do with what I like … but once again he has taken it away. How many times is he allowed to take it away from me? I’m afraid that he doesn’t see how the things he says makes me a prisoner … why don’t I have control of my life! I feel I can’t even be sure my thoughts are my own.”
And that was five years before she was found. I hope this guy spends the rest of his life in prison, so he can feel a little bit of what she felt.