In His Quest To Be “Clever” John Mayer Offends Everyone, Especially Black Women

Yesterday, we reported some off-color remarks John Mayer made about Jessica Simpson in Playboy. Jessica could have taken his comparison of her to “sexual napalm” positively or negatively, depending on how she felt about herself and their relationship. But his musings about black women and use of the N-word weren’t as clever as he hoped, but cemented his status as the biggest jerk with a mic. Let’s dissect what he said and how he tried to apologize, after the jump. Here’s some of what John said in the Playboy interview:

“I come on very strong. I am a very … I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.”

He was then asked to clarify what “very” meant to him, because the above statement makes absolutely no sense.

“Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n**** pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, ‘I can’t really have a hood pass’ I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.'”

I’m not even going to try to explain this statement except to say that I guess he was trying to say that he’ll never completely understand the plight of “hood” people, which by the way aren’t all black people, because he isn’t black. Needless to say, John’s whole point was lost because of his use of the N-word, a slur that is still offensive whether the speaker comes from the hood or not. One of the best aspects of my recent vacation in Nassau, Bahamas, was that I didn’t hear this word for a whole week—which is kind of a big deal since I repeatedly hear it said by ignorant young black people (and music artists) on a regular basis. I guess that’s why John thought he could use it for a second.

But then he apologized via Twitter:

“Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged … And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews. It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it … Because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.”

I don’t really buy this excuse because it comes off as damage control. If the Twitter frenzy of people slamming John hadn’t occurred, then he would have continued using the N-word in conversation and his interviews, which never fail to offend. John’s apology also didn’t address his other controversial comments regarding black women, which I find just as bad if not worse.

“My d*** is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*****’ David Duke c***. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*** … Every white dude loved Hilary from ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.’ Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his d***. Whatever.’ And you’d be like, ‘What? We weren’t talking about that.'”

So, it’s not that he isn’t attracted to black women, especially if they have a white girl way about them—whatever that means. It’s just that his penis can’t get up for black women, so he doesn’t bother? John sure knows how to spread his offensiveness around. But, like a good little boy who wants to make more money in the future, he apologized again while performing in Nashville Wednesday night.

I doubt John has learned his lesson. His edgy, candid, and douche-y comments have been what keeps him getting attention for more than his music. And I’m sure this isn’t the last of it. But in regards to his use of the N-word, isn’t it about time for a moratorium on the slur, regardless of who’s saying it?

Do you think John’s attempts to be clever and raw went too far? Do you buy his apologies? [PopEater, Huffington Post]