Shun, Shag, Or Marry: The Dudes Rumored To Be Replacing Simon On “American Idol”

I don’t know what “American Idol” is thinking, losing Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell! No offense to Randy, but people certainly weren’t tuning in for his witty commentary or sober decisions. Yes, Ellen DeGeneres is super hilariously awesome, but can the show survive without what Simon says? I guess it depends on who fills his shoes. Last week, rumors sparked that Howard Stern was Fox’s top pick, but this week it sounds like Jamie Foxx, Tommy Mottola, and Guy Oseary are in the running, with Oseary in the lead. [NY Daily News]

And because we want Fox to make an educated decision about who should be hired, we’re going to have to shun, shag, or marry the candidates to figure it out.

  • SHUN: Tommy Mottola. He’s a man of extreme power, having headed Sony for 15 years, making Mariah Carey’s career and managing Hall & Oates, John Mellencamp, Diana Ross, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Lopez. He’s uber loaded. And he’s married to the hot Mexican singer Thalía. However, what Mottola remains most famous for is being Mariah’s abusive ex-husband. “I still have nightmares about it,” Mariah says of her ex. “I used to wish, hope and dream that someone would kidnap me.” And according to NY Daily News, producers are worried he’ll even be harsher on contestants than Simon was. That’s a giant shun — no questions needed. [Business Wire]
  • SHAG: Jamie Foxx. Funnyman Jamie Foxx has been making music since he was 5 years old and something tells me that he would be hilarious with Ellen. But he’s already stated that he’s too busy to replace Simon. Foxx has accomplished a lot in his 42 years, from “In Living Color” to becoming the second man in history to receive two acting Oscar nominations in one year for two different movies (“Collateral” and “Ray”). He’s got a star on the walk of fame and collaborates with Kanye West. He might have said some questionable things about Miley Cyrus and sure, he’s got some baby mama drama, but the man’s beautiful and hilarious. He certainly deserves a shag!
  • MARRY: Guy Oseary. People might not know much about Guy, besides the fact that he’s Madonna’s manager, but did you guys know that Madge discovered him when he was just 17 years old? He was born in Israel and eventually became the Chairman and CEO of Sony Music Entertainment, and a principle at Untitled Entertainment. He was also the executive-producer on “Twilight” and “New Moon” and on two of Rob Zombie’s films, as well as “Last Call With Carson Daly.” He’s also authored four books, including On The Record, about how to break into the music industry, and Jews Who Rock. He’s reportedly psyched to possibly host “Idol” and did we mention he’s dreamy? Total marriage material. [NY Daily News]