A Few Tips For Keeping An Affair Secret

The March issue of Marie Claire has a brief Q&A called “The Breakup Artist” with Boston-based divorce lawyer Gerald Nissenbaum, who’s so good at his job he charges upwards of $700 an hour and gets his clients nine-figure settlements. He’s also pretty good at preventing those high-payout settlements, too, when the occasion fits. The mag got Nissenbaum to share some of his advice on preventing divorces and what not to do when divorcing, but I found his advice on affairs to be the most interesting. Although Nissenbaum says most affairs aren’t about love and aren’t worth risking a marriage, he says the relationship must remain a secret and even gives tips on how to keep it that way. Unlike Tiger Woods, you should never use a cell phone to contact the person, even if it’s a text. Emails are also out. You shouldn’t even take your cell with you to meet your lover because it probably has a GPS chip that can be subpoenaed. If there’s no way around using a cell phone, you know, because your spouse monitors the landline or you have nosy coworkers, then a disposable cell phone is the way to go. But make sure you actually dispose of it or your real partner will catch on. And lastly, keep your EZ Pass or car toll pass in a lead-lined film canister so it can’t register where you’ve been, which is more info that can be subpoenaed. That last one sounds like some old-school spy stuff, but all of these tips seem like pretty good advice, not that we condone cheating. But this isn’t all Nissenbaum has to say about his experience as a divorce lawyer. He’s written Sex, Love, and Money: Revenge and Ruin in the World of High-Stakes Divorce, in which he dishes on his wealthy clients.