If you don’t know the answer to this question, don’t feel bad. The other night I was out with one of my good friends when we started talking about her ex. I never quite understood why things didn’t work out with them. “Why did it end?” I asked. “He was a feeder,” she replied. OK, so I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. Thanks to Dan Savage, I know more than I ever would have cared to know about adult babies, boytaurs, and polyamorous relationships, but feeders—just not a term I’d ever come across. Luckily, my friend filled me in.Feederism is an underground fetish, which involves one person (the feeder) feeding the other person (the feedee). But this is not like getting turned on after enjoying a nice dinner together or letting your dude feed you a decadent chocolate dessert as a prelude to sex. We’re talking extremely large quantities of food here—it’s eating for the purpose of sexual arousal. The goal is for both the feeder and the feedee to get aroused by overeating and excessive weight gain, kind of like S & M, but about gluttony instead of pain. This can run the whole gamut of behaviors. According to the Urban Dictionary, Feederism can vary in nature, from a consensual act between two people who mutually appreciate a larger body type to non-consensual abuse, which may involve force-feeding and bondage and is undertaken with the intention of fattening up the feedee to the point of immobility and total dependence. Also, the weight gained can vary from a few pounds to hundreds.
No wonder my friend had to end it with her ex. There were only so many cookies she could eat in bed before wanting to vomit. That and um … she wasn’t down to become obese. You learn something new every day.