How To Seduce Someone (Or Simply Get A Date)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, there’s an article in today’s Daily Mail called “How to … Seduce a Man,” written by the founder of the popular lingerie boutique Coco de Mer. The advice, which is really applicable to either sex, made me think of this weekend’s “Dear Wendy” column in which a reader asked me why she can’t get a date. I offered her some suggestions, but because a lot of us could use a refresher, check out some of the best tips for seducing someone (or simply getting a date) …1. Flirt!

“Flirtation is simply about making the other party feel like a million dollars: it’s a way of making someone feel so good that they are attracted to you and want to be around you.”

So how do you flirt? Flirting is as much about body language as it as about the words you say. Start with eye contact, smile genuinely, turn your body or cross your legs towards him or her, and, if these signals are returned, don’t be afraid to gently touch his or her arm, hand or knee when making a point. A simple and genuine compliment like “You have a nice smile” or “I like your laugh” doesn’t hurt either. Just make sure you limit yourself to one compliment and don’t make it overtly sexual or you’ll come across as desperate.

2. Be confident.

“It’s often said that confidence is the sexiest attribute one can possess, and it’s true that people are naturally drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin. Make sure you’re happy with what you are wearing, you like your hair and make-up, and you’re feeling calm and happy. It’s much easier to seduce a man when you are at ease with yourself and have a sense of your own personality.”

Do a dress rehearsal before you go out to a party or somewhere else you’re likely to meet new people, and elicit the opinion of someone you trust. Wear a flattering color and something that shows off your best assets. Avoid anything too tight or restrictive — the key is to be comfortable but feel attractive. Make note of which items in your closet get you the most compliments and wear them when you want to feel especially good about yourself and make an impression. If you lack hair and makeup skills, ask trusted friends to recommend a stylist or to accompany you to a makeup counter in a department store where you can get some professional tips. If you aren’t a makeup kind of gal, you don’t have to try to be something you aren’t, but there are plenty of ways to wear just a touch of it without feeling like your face is caked on. Experiment with a bit of gloss or a light layer of mascara. The key is to feel comfortable, though, so don’t ever wear anything that makes you self-conscious — even if everyone’s telling you you look like a knock-out.

3. Acknowledge your interest and the possibility of intimacy.

“If you are looking to seduce a new partner, demonstrate some kind of awareness of the possibility of physical intimacy without being overtly sexual or threatening.”

This goes back to flirting. Nothing should be too overt, but a knowing glance, a sexy smirk, and a lighthearted innuendo uttered at just the right moment get the point across.

4. Don’t appear desperate.

“You mustn’t chase hard: nothing is more off-putting than desperation. Make yourself attractive by being as gorgeous as you can in your own skin. Seducing a man is about making him want to chase you.”

The key to all these tips is not to overdo them. There’s a fine line between showing interest and practically begging for a date. Bottom line: don’t do, say or wear anything that makes you uncomfortable. Not everyone is always going to love you or be interested in pursuing you, but, eventually, someone will, and it’s so much better to be liked for who you are rather than who you’re pretending to be.