Empire Magazine recently released a list of the “Top 50 Worst Movies Ever.” This roll call of horrible flicks was not compiled by Empire cinephiles; instead it was concocted from online votes cast by the magazine’s readers. Usually I would think this approach would create an accurate list, and for the most part it did. I found myself nodding and smirking through the majority of the 50 flicks (I’m looking at you, “Gigli”, “Glitter”, and “White Chicks”). But there were a few inclusions that I audibly gasped at. And so, I am willing to risk my self-given titles of “film buff” and “woman of good taste” in an attempt to defend some of these marked movies. Don’t worry. I’ll offer new sacrifices in their place.
- #32 — “The Spirit”
Film adaptations of comic books and graphic novels are tricky, especially when you are messing with such a devoted and detail-obsessed fan base. No adaptation is going to be perfect—a favorite plot point or character will be missing, the actors won’t fit the roles, and certain elements will be changed for the sake of mass appeal. “The Spirit” is no different, but it certainly isn’t the worst. I will admit the plot was a little meandering and the actors didn’t have the opportunity and/or skill to give strong performances. The film was especially a disappointment after Frank Miller’s previous film venture, “Sin City.” But “Spirit” was still just as graphically eye-catching as its predecessor, and it has Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackson! This man has been a Jedi, shark bait, a killer, and all-around consistent dynamo. His inclusion in almost any movie should save it from being dubbed as one of the worst films. Right?
- #30 — “Scary Movie”
This movie is only getting picked on because it opened a Pandora’s box of horrendous, fart-powered, Carmen Electra-ridden follow-ups. I stand by the opinion that the original “Scary Movie” was kind of funny and served as a less talented “Airplane” for a new generation. Similar to regular horror movies, “Scary Movie” proved to be a semi-entertaining original that led to pathetic sequels and knock-offs, which only wore away at the reputation of the first installment. For every “Halloween,” there will be a “Freddie vs. Jason,” and unfortunately for every “Scary Movie” there will be a “Return of the Spartans.”
- #28 — “The Sweetest Thing”
I like this movie but, as I am quickly finding out, many, many people don’t. I have no specific reason to defend it, except than I think that it’s hilarious and I can get my boyfriend to watch it. This is also one of the first film comedies I remember being marketed towards women that wasn’t afraid to be a little gross … or a lot of gross. I know it is no “Sex and the City,” but at least it embraces the reality that women like to think and talk about sex just like men do.
As a replacement: “Daredevil.” He’s a superhero who can’t carry a big-budget movie to begin with. Add in Ben Affleck‘s pretty face, his bad acting, the ridiculous rain vision, and allowing the equally disappointing spawn of “Elektra”—it all equals a movie worse than “The Spirit.”
As a replacement: “Not Another Teen Movie.” I see horror movies as the film industry’s inside joke. Moviegoers and filmmakers know that scary movies are not usually quality pictures packed with technical wonder and top-notch acting. Instead, you get Paris Hilton, killers that won’t die, and lots of red corn syrup. I believe that this facet of their existence asks for these movies to be mocked. Teen movies, on the other hand, are an important lighthouse in every young woman’s life and they don’t work as well with or deserve the same spoof treatment.
As a replacement: “Hanging Up.” This took three very talented actresses and made them look like whiny old women. I found this movie impossible to get through and have yet to finish it, so I guess it could really turn around in the end, but I doubt it. I fear that this may also be the direction the sadly rumored “Sex and the City 3″ might go down as well.
For a full list of the “Top 50 Worst Movies Ever” visit Empire’s official website. Then let us know which movies you’d like to defend.