Guys At The Grammys Teach Dudes How Not To Dress Up

At the Grammys last night, most of the ladies in attendance kept it real. Rihanna looked like a gorgeous, badass swan; Beyonce had all sorts of elegant booty all over the place; hell, even Pink turned up looking like a classy broad, ballgown and all. We wish we could say that the men in attendance were similarly impressive in the sartorial sense. Alas, Keith Urban’s shiny gray suit was nearly reflective enough to function as a mirror and Adam Lambert’s sparkly tux and shiny cowboy boots would have looked more appropriate on a stripper at the beginning of his act than on the red carpet. Oh, and then there was Musiq Soulchild, who was all like “clearly my best option is to dress as a caricature of the stereotypical, purple-suited pimp.”

Guys, come on. How am I supposed to convince my boyfriend that his “vintage” (read “old and crappy”) red blazer isn’t legit for a cocktail party when these dudes are on TV looking totally asinine? OK, sorry, I’ll try to be gentler. For future public appearances, perhaps try keeping the following guidelines in mind?

  • Wearing the loudest suit does not make you the most stylish guy there. In fact, it usually makes you look kind of like a joke. So no, that frilly light blue tux is not your best bet.
  • Apparently no one told Adam Lambert that patent leather cowboy boots aren’t a great look with a tux. His footwear failure illustrates the importance of the right shoe when dressing up. Here is a shining example of what not to wear.
  • Classic colors and fabrics don’t have to be boring. Dress that suit up with an interesting tie or shirt situation. (Usher did a great job of that last night.)
  • If it fits correctly, you’re already worlds ahead of most of your sloppy brethren, so get that suit tailored.
  • You had your chance to check the mirror before you left the house, so your suit doesn’t need to function as a mobile mirror. Does anyone feel offended by metallics on men? Maybe just a little?