Greg Oden’s Naked Pics Leave Much To Be Desired

Greg Oden, forgive me for saying so, but, you’re an idiot. Seriously, dude, you play center for the Portland Trailblazers. You should know that pics of your famous, NBA dong are going to cause a stir in the media. Didn’t you learn anything from the millions of other celebs who’ve been super embarrassed after nakey pics of them surfaced on the net? I know you were trying to impress your girl with these full-frontal images, but still. On another note, Greg, if you ever decide to take pictures like this again, at least do it right. I took a gander and I think these are kind of pathetic. First of all, you’re standing in front of a dirty mirror. That’s a little cliché and not very sexy. Secondly, why are you using a camera phone? Those take bad, unclear pictures and they’re tiny, which makes everything look tiny, if you know what I mean. Try something that looks a little more impressive next time.

Even so, when you said, “First, I’d like to apologize to everybody … Portland, the fans, the organization. It was very embarrassing,” I did feel a little bad. Maybe if you blow our minds this season in basketball we will all forget how you tried to blow our minds with your balls. Good luck.