Dating Dilemma: Am I A Heightist?

Like everyone else, I watched Jeff Wong and Erin Martin’s totally over-the-top save-the-date wedding video. Like many others, I noticed that the bride-to-be is taller than her groom-to-be. How much taller? Significantly. At least four inches, I think. Maybe six. As I’ve written about here before, I’m tall (6’1″) and dating a tall woman has its own unique challenges. But the fact of the matter is that, for the most part, I go out with guys my height or taller. The shortest guy I ever went out with? 5’10″. The tallest? 6’6″. Lately, I’ve been wondering, does that make me a heightist?If I am, I’m not alone. A while back, I conducted a poll: “Would you go out with a guy who’s shorter than you?” Around 40 percent of the women who responded said: “Hell-to-the-no.” Another 32 percent or so indicated they’d date a guy the same height or a “teeny bit” shorter. How many women would go out with a significantly shorter man? Around 25 percent. In other words, most women are heightists.

I’m sure there are all sorts of goes-back-to-the-Stone-Age psychological and physiological reasons. A taller man may subconsciously suggest to a woman that he’s more likely to provide for her than, say, a shorter dude. True or not, animals conditioned to believe one thing over untold millennia are hard to reprogram. The guy I went out with who was 5’10″ was shorter than me, sure, and neither of us minded, but he was a big guy, stature-wise. The 6’6″ guy I dated weighed 300 pounds and was a professional offensive lineman. I liked feeling uniquely small(er) than him and, well, girly when we were together. But it seems like I’m leaving out a hell of a lot of fish in the sea by casting my line this way. What if the man of my dreams is 5’6″ — and I can’t see him because I’m too busy scanning the room for the tallest guy in the crowd?

It could be awkward, though. How do you kiss a guy who’s six inches shorter than you? I don’t know. But I guess, in a way, love is like porn. I’ll know it when I see it.

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