Having sex while Aunt Flo is in town is definitely a love it or hate it situation — friends and fellow bloggers Twanna Hines and Desiree Moodie were on opposite sides of the fence on the subject and asked to argue their viewpoints for The Frisky. Read both of their extremely convincing arguments after the jump (who knew there were so many benefits to period sex?!), then tell us what you think in the comments.
|We’ve all been there at some point.|
You’re feeling all good and sexy because you’ve got some hot plans for later and then … Aunt Flo shows up.
For many, that means an abrupt cancellation of any sexy intentions for that evening and the subsequent ones.
But what if you just don’t want to wait? And what if your partner is willing to take the Red Sea dive? Should you try it?
My answer is an enthusiastic yes.
It is estimated that the average woman will menstruate 500 times. With the average period lasting five days, that’s a lot of loving to miss out on.
I was recently in just such a situation and because my partner wasn’t grossed out, in fact eager to get it on despite my being in the red, I took the plunge. It was a fantastic night and some of the best sex I’d ever had. It started out with a nice relaxing massage and ended in some seriously satisfying whoopee.
Not everyone is suited for red day loving. You will need a partner who isn’t squeamish about blood or easily grossed out, for one thing. This person must be open-minded, patient and attentive. It should be someone you’re totally comfortable with (hey, we’re talking serious bodily fluids here) and someone who makes you feel comfortable. The best red day lovers are those who understand that sex is primarily a mind thing and only secondarily physical.
Aside from the whoopee, menstrual sex has plenty of other benefits. The first of these is extra lubrication. Lubrication enhances sensation and makes sex that much better. There is also a decreased risk of pregnancy, though you should always be safe because getting pregnant while on your period is not impossible.
Having sex during your period can actually shorten its duration. This is because the sex is likely to cause an increase in uterine contractions that in turn cause the uterus to empty more quickly.
But perhaps the best benefit of all is that it can be easier to achieve orgasms, and big ones at that because of increased sensitivity in the vaginal area. These orgasms, in turn, help relieve any cramping you may experience.
While many women naturally feel more turned on around this time and find that they have an increased desire for sex, the mechanics of period sex can be challenging. Here are some tips for indulging that desire instead of waiting it out.
1. Go slowly. It’s best not to try to do too much and get wild and crazy too soon. Work within your body’s limits at this time.
2. Place a dark towel under you.Period sex can get messy and this can save you a trip to the laundromat.
3. Limit your positioning. Unless you don’t mind making a mess all over your partner, it’s better to stick to missionary or doggy-style. No reverse cowgirls.
4. If you’re not ready to take the plunge, experiment with other sexy acts to maintain intimacy with your partner during menstruation.
— Desiree Moodie blogs at Baser Instincts
I don’t like to have sex while my uterine lining is shedding and I am bleeding from my vagina.
I don’t remember my first visit from the little red monthly gift, but I know the exact day my BFF got hers. It was spring semester of Mrs. Ellison’s sixth grade class. Taller and with bigger breasts than most rural Illinois elementary school girls, Karen Lester stood up and approached the black chalkboard to complete a math equation.
“Karen!” Jason, a short kid with spiky blond tufts trailed by long strand of uncut hair called a tail, yelled. “You’re a woman now!” The classmates and I trained our eyes on the tiny red spot on the back on Karen’s jeans. Everyone laughed. Mortified, Karen asked the teacher if she could go to the bathroom and was thrilled to escape the class when Mrs. Ellison said yes.
Ever the late bloomer, I was last in my circle of friends to begin menstruating. When I got my period the following year, I’d already heard the stories, learned about cycles and was fully prepared for my turn. I accepted it as a fact of life. I was now a woman, and I would bleed like my friends, sister and mother did.
Women’s various orifices produce blood, mucus and ear wax—none arouse me or conjure erotic images in my mind. Much like my vagina, my brain is a sex organ. The mind-body connection is an important ingredient in concocting great sex. When I feel desirable, sexy and attractive, I want to get laid. During my period, I feel like a bloated, one-gallon water balloon on the verge of popping, and my uterus cramps with a force that would shame the Incredible Hulk. In that condition, I crave Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream — not coitus and cunnilingus.
Certainly, letting my guy stick his canoe in my red river has benefits. During menstruation, my hormones rage like wildfires, the risk of impregnating me diminishes and I get hornier than a pair of jack rabbits having an afternoon one-night stand on a Central Park lawn.
There are benefits to eating cauliflower, but I never crave the mushy, beige-colored curd. Likewise, I don’t like having sex while passing small clumps of crimson goop through my body.
A couple of my past sex partners agreed. They preferred to go on standby — experimenting with other forms of mutual pleasure — while the red flood passed, before returning for goodies five to seven days later. Trust me, when my cycled ended, we mutually benefited from the ferocity busting from my lust-filled loins. I’m quite happy to pass on bloody sex because the pent-up sexual frustration from the week-long wait can be very rewarding when released.
— Twanna A. Hines blogs at Funky Brown Chick
This debate originally ran on The Frisky in December 2008.