Earlier this week, Telegraph newspaper ran an article in which they listed nine tips for men to secure a first date, including “learn to dance,” and “be patient.” In a real mind-twist, the article also suggested men “ignore all dating tips they find online.” Better advice would have been to ignore dumb dating tips online, not all dating tips online. Men don’t need to learn to two-step to secure a first date, but there are some helpful strategies that can actually go a long way in making that first step — asking a woman out — more successful. After the jump, eight ways a men can score a first date (no dance class required!).1. Have a plan!
I can’t tell you how much it sucks when a guy says, “Wanna go out sometime?” and doesn’t follow that up with some possible date suggestions. Make it easy for us to say “yes!” Get two tickets to an event you think we may enjoy or make reservations at a hot new restaurant. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but a little thought is necessary. Invite us ice skating while the (free) rink’s still open and bring along a thermos of hot chocolate and some mini-marshmallows. It’s those little details we women like so much that will help you secure not only a first date, but a second and third.
2. Have fresh breath.
Asking us out with bad breath is a sure-fire way to get a big “no.”
3. Make sure we’re single.
Are we wearing an engagement or wedding ring? Is there a man on our arm? Have we used the term “my boyfriend” in your presence? Then don’t waste your time! Sticking to women you know are available (ask us if you aren’t sure!) will yield you far better results!
4. Be direct.
I can’t tell you how many times my girlfriends and I have found ourselves out with a guy and we don’t know if we’re on a date-date or if we’re just spending one-on-one time with a platonic friend. Don’t leave it ambiguous. Don’t trick us into going out with you. If you want someone to help you shop for something to wear to your job interview, ask your sister! If you want someone to go on a date with, ask if you can take us to dinner.
5. Introduce yourself first.
If you ask someone out, you want her first response to be “yes,” not “What’s your name?” Introduce yourself, tell her a little about yourself — where you live, what you do, where you’re from. If you’ve met at a party or through a mutual friend, tell her how you know the host or the person you have in common. The clearer you are about the connections you share, the less intimidating you are to go out with. It’s a big, bad world out there and single women are leery of men outside their social network, so take the fear out and you’ll better your chance at scoring a date.
6. Take the work out of it.
Either offer to come pick us up or choose a place that isn’t too far or difficult for us to get to. Not many women are going to be thrilled about taking three subways or driving an hour to meet you for a bite to eat. Unless you’re Clooney.
7. Give us advance notice.
Ask us out at least three days in advance. Come on, you guys, it’s called “respect.” We don’t want to be your after-thought.
8. Don’t wait too long.
Whether we’ve met online, through friends, or by chance in line at the grocery store, once you get our name and info, the clock starts tickin’. While you’re trying to psyche yourself up to ask us out, some other guy may be swooping in and doing the job for you. You’ve got about three days (if we’ve met in person) or about three or four email exchanges (if we’ve met online) to make it happen. If you haven’t asked us out by then, we figure you’re not interested and we move on.