Andy And Sarah: Your Days Of Calling In Sick Are Over!
You’ve already heard the upsetting news that folks whose name starts with the letter “D” live shorter lives. But now I need to have a chat with all of you named Andy or Sarah. If you’re actually at work right now, and not out pretending to be sick, you may want to make sure no one is spying on you in your cubicle before you read on. A new survey of 5,000 workers and employers in the U.K. showed that your name might determine how often you call in sick for work. Andy, Sarah, Steve, Becky, Paul, Anne, John, and Emma … the jig is up. We suspected that you were lying when you told us “the car wouldn’t start” (that’s the most popular fake excuse), but now we know that you are nothing more than a scheming “desk-dodger.” No more fabrications of food poisoning, migraines, colds, flus, sick children, or deaths in the family just because you want to snuggle up in bed, avoid a stressful meeting, or sleep off that hangover. No more feeble-voiced messages with fake coughing. No more leaving the rest of us to do your dirty work while you’re off shopping. We’re on to you. [Telegraph]