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Quotable: John Mayer Has An Existential Dating Crisis

“All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else. I met a girl one time in Vegas. Her name was Dimples, and the ‘s’ in Dimples was a dollar sign. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. I still feel like I’m with them, in the sense that if I f**ked Dimples, what does that say about someone like Jen? I feel like it’s all connected. How could I ever cosmically relate these two people? What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**king fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny,’ and then I see myself f**king Dimples? What does that say for my case?”

— John Mayer explaining to Rolling Stone magazine that the only thing that keeps him from effing every woman he meets is worrying about how Jen (Aniston) would feel about it. [via US Weekly]

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