Men do a lot of thinking before sex. Mainly, they think about how to get sex, what to eat in order to have the proper energy for sex, and how to have better sex. Our thinking during sex is much less complex.
During passionate sex, the conscious mind of a man is pretty much obsessed with feeling everything that’s happening, and enjoying the act as much as possible. However, there’s a sort of half-conscious, half-subconscious mind that kicks in, and its main function is to worry about performance.
Our big concern between the sheets is whether on not you’re getting off, because men consider the female orgasm the sort of gold medal of the sexual Olympics.Well, most guys, anyways. Some of us understand that an orgasm isn’t always the main goal for women, and we’re happy to simply work toward mutual pleasure and making sex as enjoyable as possible. The vast majority of guys, though, worry endlessly on some level about whether or not you’re having a good time. As the orgasm is the only surefire proof they have that sex was good, that’s what they go for.
When this is the case, women can help guys get over this hang-up quite easily. All you’ve got to do is tell a guy that he’s doing fine and that the sex is enjoyable. Telling him during and immediately after the act (regardless of whether an orgasm happened) is the perfect way to stop him from obsessing, and sex will improve overall (in most cases).
Men also think about sexual longevity, as you can probably tell from the huge amount of commercials and products out there that claim to “extend” sex. This sort of creates a paradox. Men want to have orgasms, because orgasms are, how can I put this? Awesome. Yet, they’re also trying to hold off the orgasm, because it means the end of the party. It’s kind of like going to a fireworks show — you don’t want to go and just see the grand finale; you want a long series of eruptions before the finale begins. That might have been a bad metaphor choice for this situation.
Anyway, to avoid the orgasm, guys think about the most awful, unsexy stuff possible. What exactly this entails differs from guy to guy. Personally, I picture a dog crapping. As guys are very visual animals, this type of mental image can make sex last a lot longer–hey, don’t knock it. We realize that it’s not the most romantic thought process in the world.
Some guys avoid that technique entirely by simply extending foreplay, which can work great if their partners are on the same page. Guys are tenacious, and we’ll find a way to make sex enjoyable, regardless of our limitations, given enough chances and with a little bit of guidance. During sex, that’s all we’re thinking about, really: How we can make everything better? Because, of course, if it’s better; we’ll naturally get more sex.
Yes, that’s right, ladies. Even during sex, guys are basically thinking about how to get more sex.