Hey, Ladies, Can You Stop Doing This On Dates With Me? Thanks.

So, look. I’ve decided to write this article about stuff that people do on dates that sucks. Now, I’m a man who dates women, so a lot of these will be irritating things that women do; this doesn’t mean that men don’t also do all the same (or similar) annoying things.

I’ve been single since the Sumerians were settling Eridu (if you believe this psychic in New Orleans who told me my soul has been around — and single — since the sixth millennium B.C.), so yeah, I’ve been on a lot of dates.

I won’t claim I’m an expert, but I know enough to actually be helpful to you lady readers. In the interest of both men and women, I give you the eloquently titled, painstakingly wrought: “Things Women Do On Dates That Suck That I Wish They Wouldn’t Do Anymore.”

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