Proof Men Lie About Their Sex Number, Courtesy Of The U.S. Government

Lately, we’ve been a little obsessed with the notches on bedposts. Maybe it’s because a bunch of celeb man whores made us feel like prudes, or a few female celebs made us feel like really Frisky gals (well, except for Joan Crawford). Anyway, what we found so shocking was that, while Warren Beatty supposedly has slept with over 12,775 women since he became a star, by our count, Madonna’s only had 31. It begs the question, how are these men sleeping with this many women, yet the women aren’t sleeping with that many men? The answer is just as you suspected: They’re lying! And now we have proof thanks to some well-spent tax dollars! According to the most recent “Statistical Abstract Of The United States,” the average dude between 15 and 44 says he’s boned 5.4 women. A quarter of those guys said they slept with more than 15 girls. On the other hand, the ladies only opened up their business for 3.3 men, on average, with only 9.2 percent saying they had more than 15 partners. Are those above-average women the prostitutes who all these men are frequenting? Maybe. But most likely, guys are probably so insecure about being perceived as macho enough to be playahs that they’ll even lie on a confidential census test. Aw, that’s so cute! Not.

Look, handsome, whether or not the vagina-enabled think you’re a stud doesn’t depend on how many women you’ve been able to make sexy times with. Please, guys, keep in mind we gals like experienced gentlemen, and by that we mean a man who has done it with one girl long enough to learn how to do it right. You don’t have to bang half the world to blow us away! All you need is one love, or, uh, 3.3, as the case may be. [Washington Post]