New Airport Scanners Will Leave You Very Exposed

President Obama has authorized the use of brand-new body scanners at airports, as part of heightened security efforts to fight terrorism. The problem is, these new scanners provide incredibly detailed, high-definition images, where everything from the gun hiding in your anus to the details of your vag are visible. The image above is one such example and is only a low resolution version — airport security will get a much more up-close and personal looksie — in fact, the scanners technically violate U.K. child pornography laws. I’m all for making s**t more secure when I’m flying, but I’m not sure I want airport security knowing I haven’t shaved my pubes in a few days. []