Lord Of The Wings And Other Awesome Eating Competitions

My favorite hobbit, Elijah Wood, just hosted his first eating contest, called Lord of the Wings. The competition took place at Epstein’s Bar in New York and the winner, “Big Dan” Graff, awesomely said, “It was a fun night. I ate 14 wings in three minutes. Elijah was a good sport and a really sweet little guy. I’ll probably regret saying this, but he’s got the biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen on a man.” Awww, sounds like there was some bromance brewing at the wing competition. [NY Post]

And because I’ve got a huge ol’ crush on Kobayashi, I’m gonna introduce you to some of the most random eating competitions ever.

  • I’ve been dying to go to Montana’s Testicle Festival ever since I found out it existed, because it’s basically a biker orgy where people happen to be eating fried testicles. Last year, a competitive eater named A-Bomb won the Rocky Mountain Oyster eating contest by eating one pound of fried testies in three minutes. He wrote of his experience, “I would’ve had no idea I was eating balls if I had not known I was eating balls.” I think you should only be able to claim the name man-eater if you have eaten an animal ball. Just sayin’. [Dogs Are Fun Yes]
  • In Washington D.C., Bar Louie hosts an annual “Rock the Tot” tater tot eating competition, which is mostly just a fun name and good reminder of how delicious tater tots are. (I was reminded of that this weekend when I ate 30 in one sitting.) The eaters sometimes wear costumes and pick cute names like Fire Tot, Tiny Tot, Spudley Do-Right and Ace of Tots. Ace of Tots got disqualified after releasing his tots back into the world. The winner James Besser ate 2.8 lbs. of tots in six minutes, setting a new record. [DCist]
  • Sacramento hosts an annual “Peep Off,” a Peep eating contest, where competitors have 30 minutes to consume as many yellow marshmallow chicks as possible. There is a five-minute break afterward, in case someone has to throw up, but the official rules state that if the contestant eats said barf afterward, they will not be disqualified … which happened in 2003. More recently, one winner ate 45 Peeps and won a Peep painting. I’m not sure how someone could eat Peep barf, but I hope he won something better than a lousy painting and a stomach pump. [Esquire]
  • Apparently, Lil Jon hosts a Chicken and Beer contest on Wednesdays at the Cave night club, where the competitors are all women and have to finish a large serving of wings, a forty, and a shot of booze while Lil Jon chants in the background, “Eat that s**t, eat all the meat off the bone, eat it.” And then at the end “hold it in,” just in case the women were thinking about puking. Sounds like Sunday dinner at my house! [Bossip]
  • In 2006, Six Flags Great America held a live Madagascar Cockroach eating contest for Fright Fest, where participants won four Fast Lane passes. For some reason, PETA got pissed but Six Flags PR manager, Jim Taylor, assured the media that cockroaches are “essentially no different from any other animal used as food in the park.” And added, “It is important to point out that cockroaches do provide nutritional value. (They) are high in protein and they have no fat. They are a common part of a lot of other diets in the world, and we do eat some things in this part of the world that might be frowned upon in other parts of the world.” Um, not sure how to feel about the food at Six Flags, if it’s “no different” from eating cockroaches, but PR sounds super fun. I wonder if his job is available? [CBS]