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Man Mistakes Steel Pipe For Vagina, Gets Penis Stuck

A 40-year-old man in the U.K. must have thought that the giant steel pipe he lodged his penis in on Tuesday was a vagina or some other warm orifice. Otherwise, how could we account for such a poor insertion decision? Actually, I’m not sure I want to know his reasoning. What we do know is that after his ween was sufficiently stuck (I’m picturing a Pooh-Bear-in-a-rabbit-hole scenario), he had no choice but to call emergency services to rescue his member. (I’m wondering what the operator’s reaction to hearing the words “My penis is stuck in a steel pipe!” was?) He was initially taken to the ER, but doctors were unable to operate on him because the restricted blood flow caused a giant erection. Not the best time to get turned on, eh? Let’s just say it was no quickie lube job. With the steady hands of seven firefighters, it took 30 minutes and a metal grinder (arrrgghhh!) to free his bruised and battered willy. Lesson learned, boys? Just another insane peen story for the record books. [Newser]

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