S**t My Dad Says? Fake AP? They’re old news, bitch. The new must-follow Twitter feed in town is @NeedyGirlfriend.
The only thing to say about Needy Girlfriend’s insecurities is they are effing hilarious. Is she fat? Does her hair smell like hair? She wasn’t checking your texts; she was skimming your phone with her eyes. Needy Girlfriend doesn’t care if she’s just a friend—it’s unacceptable for you to be hanging out with that girl! Of course, no needy girlfriend would be complete without the emotionally unavailable man in her life who makes her feel insecure: @AloofBoyfriend. Not only is he blissfully unaware of all the things Needy Girlfriend frets about, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. We’re guessing these kids have their own book deal by the time Needy Girlfriend plans—err, accidentally has—her next pregnancy scare. [Needy Girlfriend and Aloof Boyfriend]