Ask The Astrosexologist: Help, I’m Living With A Filthy Taurus!

I (Mar. 29) was very infatuated with a man (May 7) for three years and one thing I was really attracted to (other than the sex) was his cleanliness. He was very particular about his clothes, smelled good, showered a lot, fine taste, etc. Now, we live together and I find dirty underwear everywhere to the point where I wonder if he knows how to clean his ass. Plus, he never washes his hands when he leaves the bathroom. It’s so disgusting that it turns me off from being sexual with him now. How do I mention this without being a nag or hurt his feelings? – Ms. Clean

Expressing yourself in this circumstance won’t make you a nag and to hell with his feelings. It sounds like you’ve been patient enough in dealing with this gross Taurus mess. After all, you should be totally annoyed. You got him in one condition and then took him home and found out he was in another condition. If he were a car, they would have laws to protect you! Take the same stance and say something now. Besides, with the lack of sex, he is probably sensing something is up and to let him know it’s just his hygiene will probably relieve him of any paranoia that he might not be sexually fulfilling.

Taurus men put their best foot forward for the chase, but once they get committed, they get lazy — you’re seeing the worst case scenario of it. Luckily, we are in a mercury retrograde in Capricorn right now and this is a fine time for you to renegotiate with your honey about the condition he is keeping himself in— because who the hell wants to live in filth and be so turned off, they don’t want sex? Obviously this conversation will benefit the both of you, so have it out now as the stars are on your side to get the best results you can ask for. With this retrograde in action, this is a good time to bring up the past and tell him that who he was when you first met him and who this man is now isn’t the same. Just do it with humor, which comes easily to your sign.

As an Aries, you know how to charm people with jabbing comments, but with just enough sass to make it endearing. Although he might be sensitive about it, you’ve been overly sweet by putting up with his crap long enough. Plus, because you are an Aries, if you don’t bring up this conversation civilly now, you will inevitably blow up inappropriately at another time and create a bigger drama that won’t get anything solved. So speak now or forever live in sexless nastiness!

Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email [email protected] and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!

Want to know what’s in store for your sign in 2010? Don’t forget to check out The Frisky’s Astro Guide 2010!