With just four days left in this decade, many of us are looking ahead to the new year and thinking about goals and resolutions we can make to improve our lives in 2010. The Daily Mail has gone one step further and consulted “expert life coaches” for strategies to help us live happier, more fulfilling lives in the new year. If finding love is on your lift list for 2010, keep reading for some of the best expert tips for achieving that goal, after the jump.The Daily Mail spoke with Dr. Pam Spurr, a relationship expert, who says there are three key things you can do to find love in the new year.
1. “First, widen your circle of opportunity.” Dr. Spurr says to mix it up and change your routine — take a new route to work, hit a different bar for happy hour, go grocery shopping in the next neighborhood over. The more opportunities you give yourself to “encounter new faces,” the more you increase your chances of making a love connection. I’d also add that if you’re serious about making it a priority to find love this coming year, make a habit of saying “yes” more often to opportunities of increasing your circle of opportunities. Say “yes” to party invitations and requests from co-workers to set you up on blind dates. Say “yes” to dinner with the guy you may have overlooked in the past because he’s not quite tall enough or you don’t like that he’s been married before. When you set an intention to find love and you open your mind to the different ways and packages it may present itself, you increase your chances of finding the right match tenfold.
2. Second, Dr. Spurr says to always “be aware of both your body language and your attitude.” As you widen your circle of opportunities and continue saying “yes” to invitations, you never know when you may meet your potential match, so it’s important to not only remain open mentally, but to express that openness physically. Stand confidently, make eye contact, and always have a smile ready. I’d also add that it’s important to always dress and present yourself the way you’d want to look when you meet your future partner — even if you’re just running to the grocery store to pick up milk. You don’t have to wear full makeup and do your hair expertly, but at least change out of your sweats and put on a little lip gloss. Not only does looking presentable increase your confidence, which makes you more attractive to others, it also puts you in the mindset that love may be hiding in the dairy aisle of your grocery store. And call it new-agey BS, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to put that thought out into the universe.
3. Finally, Dr. Spurr says to adopt a positive attitude.
“If you’ve emerged from a bad break-up or been single for a while, you may well be harboring all sorts of damaging self-myths about yourself. Thinking ‘I’m unlovable’ or ‘I’m unlucky in love’ shows in your attitude and the vibes you give off. Substitute these thoughts for more positive ones. Tell yourself: ‘Yes, that break-up was sad, but I’m not unlovable just because he broke up with me.’”
As important as it is to think positive thoughts about yourself, I say it’s just as important to remain positive about potential mates … at least until they prove undeserving of your positivity. Widen your circle of opportunities, present yourself in your best light, adopt a positive attitude, and keep an open mind, and you just may find love in 2010. At the very least, you’ll certainly increase your chances.
Check out the Daily Mail for more expert tips on managing your finances, being happy at work, dealing with a breakup, and getting/staying fit in 2010.